God has Game, too.

"Game Plan: God has plan."
submitted by frequent contributor Duane Brown
God has plan stop meet at bridge stop midnight tomorrow stop he will be in brown trenchcoat stop also with throne and angels stop

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"Eternity is approaching quickly"
"Life is passing quickly"
submitted by frequent contributor Duane Brown
So if they meet in a head-on collision I don't have to worry about either one, right?

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"God is all seasons open for you visit."
submitted by frequent contributor Duane Brown
Brought to you by the First Church of Dagobah.

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"Vacation plans? God has your directions inside visit?"
submitted/asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Duane Brown
Look, we really don't want to have to beg any longer...PLEASE visit?!?

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submitted by frequent contributor Duane Brown
Subtle...

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Thanks mostly to Paul_, CCS is now the #2 most PhotoCrank'd site in the entire internet. Paul_ received a little help from LVR, St. Schiz, BRWombat, mathgrant, Duane, and others...but it's mostly him.

If you haven't been to the archives in a while, you're really missing out. He is absolutely killing some of those older signs with cranks.

Hopefully he'll keep going because it's a loooooong way to #1.

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The Official Church of Homer Simpson:

"Sunday School 9 AM. Donuts 10 AM. Worship 10:30 AM"
submitted/post title by frequent contributor Duane Brown
There was quite an uproar the Sunday when Devil's Food Donuts were accidentally served...

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"To stay out of debt, act your wage."
submitted by frequent contributor Duane Brown
"Consider the lilies of the field. They charge not, neither do they layaway..."

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"Filling Station!"
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Duane Brown
I think the church down the road has services for two cents cheaper...

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"God spplies all our needs one day at a time."
submitted by frequent contributor Duane Brown
Except, apparently, the letter "u".


(Note: Long-time CCS readers will also love Duane's snark on this sign:
"What's missing? U R!")

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"Leaning on God is like learning to float."
submitted by frequent contributor Duane Brown
Meaning it's easier when you're dead?

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Do you ever think, period?

"Do you every think about where you will spend entirety?"
submitted/originally posted by C. Bender
They get props because at least they used a dictionary to get the spelling correct. Unfortunately, it appears that they looked up the wrong word.

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"You are accontable to God."
submitted/originally posted by C. Bender
In fact, your accontability affects where you spend entirety.

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"Give thanks to the Lord for He good"
submitted/originally posted by C. Bender
He truly be!

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"Make someone feel importand and ask them for help."
submitted/originally posted by C. Bender
Then, make someone feel imported and ask them for their Green Card.

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"U need to come to church U need too."
submitted/originally posted by C. Bender
Today's sermon by Sinead O' Connor. Special music by Prince.

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Finally, this picture from Phillip of a church advertising their Vacation Bible School (VBS).

Except for the unfortunate fact that the "V" fell off, so it just says "BS":

Cue one of Franky's smug little hit-and-run jabs in the comments section in 3....2....1....

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Welcome Jackson Sun Readers

Thanks to Tracie Simer for today's article in the Jackson Sun about CCS. If you're new around these parts, please enjoy your stay. Take a second and read the disclaimer in the lower right sidebar, and if you enjoy what you see spend some time in the archives - you have about 4 years worth of material you need to catch up on...

More crumminess Monday. Have a great weekend!

Goin' to the church...down by the river!

"Revival. Pastor Chris Farley"
submitted by new contributor Roger S.
I guess that makes David Spade a deacon, huh?

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"God will never leave you for the Jets."
submission info below*
Unlike that bastard Bennie.

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"Beijing Smog"
submitted by Trissina L.
Personally, I don't think "London Fog" has anything to worry about.

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"Start now for peace in the valley."
submitted/asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Rev. Arnold Hendrix
Choose any activity and direction. Just start.

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"Cain and Abels Facebook"
submitted by Trissina L.



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"God's grace is cool and wet"
submitted AND reviewed by John P
Sounds an awful lot like Coca-Cola.


Joel's Note: Or booze.

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* picture submitted by MountainRev. I was originally directed to this sign by Rickey who saw it posted at this Milwaukee newspaper (different angled-picture, so I used the one from MountainRev since I have permission).

Of course, it's referencing the recent Brett Favre un-retirement and subsequent trade from Green Bay to the New York Jets. Which is, of course, why I went with an Elton John reference.

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I have a new email from Duane in VA. with a ton of submissions. Stay tuned next week. Have a great weekend.

This was a funny post. Right??? So vote at h-b:

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I'm done:

Look what arrived yesterday! ^^^^

Just so you know: With my new degree, my blogging rates went up. You'll all be receiving invoices in your emails soon.

I wonder how excited they get about brooms?

"Join us for mops!"
Next week: Buckets!

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"Hungry for a companion"
submitted by frequent contributor MJ
I prefer my companions medium-rare.

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"Inhale faith. Exhale works."
submitted by frequent contributor MJ
To sum up: To have faith you have to suck.

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"Swiss or not, YOU are welcome here"
submitted by new contributor Anthony D.
However, we demand that you wear neutral colors.

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"He died for you. Details inside."
submitted by frequent contributor Erik the Intern
REALLY gory details inside.

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I need your votes in the caption contest over at Mattress Police. There's a lot of funny ones, and mine is pretty obscure. If you get it, though...it's really funny :)

Also, I'm in a free-fall down the humor-blogs rankings. Due to a rather infrequent posting schedule, I'm just not getting the votes I need. Other blogs manage to stay at the top not posting every day, but I just can't do it for some reason. Anyhow, if you like this post (or the last one?) I'd sure appreciate the vote.

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A new direction for Benedictions everywhere:

"Satan will rule you all."
submitted by frequent contributor Katherine T.
From that point forward, the secretary was warned to let her medications "kick in" before putting up each week's sign.

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"Which is worse: A child afraid of the dark or an adult afraid of the light?"
submitted by frequent contributor Katherine T.
That week's object lesson ended poorly, as the oncoming train won its game of "chicken" with the pastor.


Note: No wonder their children are afraid of the dark when they put up signs like that first one.

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"Kids see 'Bibleman' live & in person!"
submitted by frequent contributor Katherine T.
Alter-Ego: John Pilgrim
Height: 6' 1" (as in Ephesians 6:1, kids!)
Weight: Enough to not be blown about by the whims of this fallen world!
Costume: The armor of God!
Super-Powers: Faster than a charismatic heading down the aisle! More powerful than Samson before he hits the Canaan Supercuts! Able to leap wide baptismals in a single bound!
It's Bibleman!

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"Playing make believe. Sunday 11 AM"
submitted by frequent contributor Katherine T.
The congregants knew they were in trouble when the pastor started in with "Picture Picture".

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Thanks to Katherine for the great submissions! Sometimes the reviews are pretty darn easy to come up with...

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