Definitely not Calvinists:

"God intervenes by invitation only"
submitted by frequent contributor Chandler C.
Let's ask Job what he thinks about this sign...

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"Bus appreciation Sunday"
submitted by frequent contributor Scott G.
Thousands of disappointed Pittsburgh Steeler fans showed up only to discover that Jerome Bettis would NOT be making an appearance...

However this was STILL a better idea than their original "Taxi Appreciation Tuesday".



(I should correct a technicality: Scott didn't submit this to me specifically; I stole it from his status update on Facebook. I figure that's like submitting it...)

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"A clean conscious makes a soft pillow"
submitted AND reviewed by new contributor Chelsea J.
Yeah, I have a hard time sleeping when I'm awake, too...

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"God bless mother's through adopotion what greater love."
submitted AND reviewed by Lara L.
What, you mean I went through a home study, background checks, miles of paperwork and months and months of waiting, and all I had to do was take a potion?!?


Joel's note: Let's count what's wrong with this sign:
1) Improper apostrophe
1b) Upside down apostrophe (thanks, Minh!)
2) Misspelled "adoption"
3) No greater love than adoption? Jesus himself disagrees.

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Found another cool thing on my Facebook feed...check out this video entitled "What if Starbucks Marketed Like a Church". My favorite is the bumper stickers, but the whole thing is definitely inspired:

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This Sunday's Sermon: States' Rights!

"A stone is heavy but the wrath of a fool is heavier. Jefferson Davis, Pastor."
submitted by Alex S.
And a rolling fool gathers no moss, either...

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"Faith is the awareness of utter helplessness witout God."
submitted AND reviewed by f.c. Aaron A.
Shame is the awareness of utter helplessness without Spell-Check.

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"For time and eternity Jesus is all we need."
submitted by frequent contributor Aaron A.
We also need Him for saving our sorry asses from hell. But more importantly, we need Him for time and eternity.

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"Faith without work is dead."
submitted by frequent contributor Cory H.
Speaking of "dead"...doesn't the Bible say something about misquoting it??

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"Where will you be sitting in etemity? Smoking or non-smoking?"

submitted by Alisa M.
A classic crummy church sign with a little different twist on the spelling...

Alisa assures us that it was misspelled on both sides.

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It's all re-runs to God...

"The Bible is your best T.V. Guide."
submitted by Gail W.
...AND you have just as good a chance at finding actual T.V. listings.

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"Strength in prayer is better than length in prayer."
submitted by Jennifer N.
I'm pretty sure there's a "That's what she said!" joke hidden in there somewhere, but I can't quite put my finger on it...

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"Redemption, God's recycling plan!"
submitted AND reviewed by Jennifer N.
Hell: God's way of taking out the trash.

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"Don't pray for a bushel and only carry a cup."
submitted by Jennifer N.
And don't carry a cup without a jockstrap!

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"There are some questions that can't be Googled. Read the Bible."
"Questions from Side 1: Who am I? Why am I here? Where am I going?"

submitted by Jennifer N.
Also: Why am I forced to read this second sign in my rear view mirror?!?


It also might help if they do a little research. A Google search of those terms leads to a Christian website on the first page of search results each time.

So...maybe they CAN be answered by Google?

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My new friend Lady Snark is posting a series of what she considers "Greatest Hits" of Crummy Church Signs. She's a new fan, she asked nicely, I've been pretty lax on my posting lately, etc., etc.... so I caved.
I'm glad I did. These blasts from the past also include some of her own commentary, which I gotta say is pretty snarky. She comes by her nom de plume honestly. Go check it out.

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Election Reaction

Here.







HT: Joe G. (And the Apostle Paul)