It's why Electric Christians are so much better.

submitted by UberSchatz
Take, for example, how this sign falls "flat".
-----------------------------------------------

"Correction does much, but encouragement does more."
submitted by new contributor Liana
...but we're still for maximum-term jail sentences.
-----------------------------------------------

“If Jesus could get his ass to church on Sunday, so can you.”
submitted by new contributor Christie O'Brien
I'm gonna go ahead and guess that Jesus actually got his ass to church on Saturdays...
----------------------------------------------

Humor-blogs needs frequent tuning-into.

Keep 'em coming.

A Pictureless Wednesday and Book Sale Update

There's plenty of submissions to go through, but no pictures this time. Here we go:

“Heaven is no trick… Hell is no treat.”
submitted AND reviewed by new contributor Jack Magruder
And there will be Thanksgiving on my end now that we’re past Halloween and don’t have to see this every time I drive by.
----------------------------------------------

"Jesus wouldn't use Powerpoint and a rock band."
submitted by new contributor Jack Magruder
"Verily I say unto thee...

(ahem)....verily I say unto thee....

...NEXT SLIDE, Andrew!!"
---------------------------------------------

"What's black and white and red all over? You, in His Word, covered by His blood!"
submitted by new contributor Jack Magruder
If you're also green, it just means you threw up all over yourself when you read this sign.
----------------------------------------------

Thanks to Jack, who was saving these signs up to start a website of his own. Once he found CCS, he just sent them my way.

I have recently received a lot of submissions of signs that I have already reviewed. Just a reminder (per the disclaimer in the sidebar) that I don't have time to respond to every submission, so please don't be discouraged if I didn't use your sign. Thanks.

-----------------------------------------------

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for: An update on my book sales.


Yesterday was the final day for preorders at the special pricing. The books are being printed and should ship by the end of this week (if not sooner). Again, expect your purchase to arrive by mid-month. The final tally for the two week pre-order time frame is:

110 books sold!!

Thanks to everyone, and once I tabulate expenses and everything this should give US the opportunity to donate somewhere in the neighborhood of $250 dollars to Compassion. Way to go everyone!!

Diesel will have to weigh in on this for sure, but I think this number places me firmly in the top two for book sales at humor-blogs.com.

Of course, this isn't over. You can still order my book for the extremely reasonable price of $12.99 plus $3.00 shipping. All proceeds will still be donated to Compassion.

I want to publicly thank Diesel again for setting up the order process at humor-blogs and helping me with every facet of making this publication happen. Thanks, man!!
---------------------------------------------------------

Keep 'em coming.

LAST DAY!

Today is the last day to purchase my book at the discounted price of $10.99 with free shipping. After today, the price will go up to $12.99 plus shipping. Remember, all proceeds get donated to Compassion.

No guest post for me at the Snark. I'm fighting a respiratory illness, and I'm also not in the mood to be very snarky after the place we put a down payment on 18 months ago and were already supposed to be living in caught fire last night, so who knows when we will finally stop living with my inlaws over an hour away from our jobs and church.

Sigh.


Keep 'em coming.

To boldly go where dozens of churches have gone before...

seen here on Flickr. Submitted by frequent contributor Ironic Catholic
Illogical, captain.
-------------------------------------------------

submitted by new contributor Tim Brown
He's our profit, priest, and king.


(Here's a little primer on where that joke came from for those that don't get it)
--------------------------------------------

"God is crafting you for eternity."
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Kelly Quinn
I hope he isn't using macrame on me. I hate macrame.
--------------------------------------------

"God wants a bride, not just a one night stand."
submitted by new contributors Joanie and/or Bill
If anyone present sees reason why this sign should not be properly ridiculed, speak now or forever hold your peace.
---------------------------------------------

ONE DAY LEFT to order the book at a special discounted rate. Only $10.99 with free shipping!! The books are being printed and will be sent to me shortly, after which time I will autograph them and send them on to those of you that bought one. Expect yours in the middle of the month sometime!
Remember, all proceeds go to Compassion. I'll give an update on Wednesday on how many books have been sold and what that means for the Compassion donation.

It was a busy weekend for submissions, so stay tuned this week....
----------------------------------------

Humor-blogs.com wants a one night stand, not a bride.

Keep 'em coming.

Grace? Huh? What?!?

submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Rev. Wes Kenney
But probably, it'll just seem like an eternity while you're doing it...
----------------------------------------------------

submitted AND reviewed by April Sellers.
"This sign is an abomination" - God.


I think I've reviewed this sign before (in fact...I know I have). I just like April's review a lot, so I included it again.
-----------------------------------------------

I need your help! I'm a finalist in a caption contest...but this time it's not Diesel's, it's Dorky Dad's contest to find a tagline for his blog. There's a $20 prize for the best one, which I need to help offset the fact that I'm donating all the money from my book sales to Compassion.

What?!? You haven't heard about my book sales and that I'm donating all the money to Compassion? Well, the special reduced-price-with-free-shipping offer ends on Tuesday, so better purchase one soon!!


------------------------------------------------

Don't make humor-blogs.com come down there...

Keep 'em coming.

"Free Beer"

seen on Flickr. Directed by frequent contributor Ironic Catholic.
Doesn't this sign sort of sum up this whole website and idea? My guess (and one of the reasons I started this 3 years ago) is that the saying on a church sign almost never influences church attendance. Usually crazy things like members actually going out and inviting people, or the church having a reputation as a place where positive things are happening, those are the things that cause increased attendance. Maybe if the sign advertised a message on a topic that lots of people wanted to hear about it would increase attendance, but how many pithy slogans or witty puns have actually caused people to want to visit? My guess is not very many.

This sign is the new Official Crummy Church Sign of Crummy Church Signs Dot Com. And, yes, it's probably unwitting on their part.

-----------------------------------------------


Remember to pre-order my book! The printer will start the order this weekend based on how many pre-orders I have. I'll order a few extras for you last minute shoppers, of course, but on Tuesday the price goes up and shipping will be charged!! Right now it's only $10.99 with free shipping! If you've ordered one, look for yours to arrive in a couple of weeks.

-------------------------------------------------

What could humor-blogs say to get you there right now?

Keep 'em coming.

Why I autumn....

submitted by frequent contributor Jill Van Horne
...and you'll get sent to the Rake of Fire.
-----------------------------------------------

submitted by frequent contributor Jill Van Horne
He's just fuzzy.
-----------------------------------------------

“None live so pleasantly as those who walk by faith.”

submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Allen's Brain

Um, yeah… That’s what Hebrews 11 is all about: the pleasant lives of those who live by faith.
-----------------------------------------------

"Be a firefighter. Put out slander."
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Allen's Brain
"Put out" as in "distribute; emit; produce"?

------------------------------------------------

Have you bought my book yet? The special prices last until next Tuesday (Nov. 6). Only $10.99 with free shipping!


I will be placing my order for books this week based on the number of sales I have so far (plus estimating a few extras for those of you waiting until the last minute)...it should take about a week to get them in, then I will sign them and send them out. If you have ordered yours, you should expect it by mid-November, in plenty of time for the holiday season.

Thanks for all the orders so far!! Once the special pricing is over next week, I'll give everyone an update on sales and how much loot we all raised for Compassion.

-----------------------------------------------

Your fall begins when you leaf humor-blogs.com

Keep 'em coming.

Return of the Crummy Letters.

While my guest posts at the Snark have continued unabated, it's been quite a while since the traditional "Crummy Letter". Well, they're back, baby!! Be sure to check out today's.

More crumminess tomorrow!

Keep 'em coming.

Well, you're off to a great start.

submitted by frequent contributor Jerry Webber
...than to have people love God because they actually were saved.

Oh, and welcome to our church.
------------------------------------------------

submitted by new contributor Louie G.
If the Spirit's the ready one, why is He leaving the choice up to me?!?
--------------------------------------------

"For every sin, Satan has an excuse"
submitted AND reviewed by new contributor Caroline Morrow
...so be sure to ask him for suggestions.
---------------------------------------------


8 more days are left in the pre-ordering period for my book. Have you bought your copy yet? Only $10.99 with free shipping!!

---------------------------------------------

I've got more crumminess to fill the week, so stay tuned!

Humor-blogs.com is ready, but the flesh is weak...

Keep 'em coming.

...and "The Most Confusing Sign Ever" Award Goes To:

submitted by Richard Steffy, PA
...and Lions Club members leave their shoes off. And everyone knows that the Shriners don't go to church.


Does anybody have any idea what they were trying to say with this sign? Seriously, leave a comment because neither Richard nor I have a clue.
-----------------------------------------------

"Eternal life insurance: You are the soul beneficiary."
submitted by frequent contributor Kelly Quinn
Jesus' premium was a b**ch, though.
---------------------------------------------------


Like signs and review like these? Then you'll love my new book. There's still a week and a half left on the pre-order special of only $10.99 per book with free shipping. Take advantage now, and do your Christmas shopping early!
---------------------------------------------

By the way, I was kidding about the Shriners earlier. It's the Freemasons that don't go to church.




edit: (...still joking...)
---------------------------------------------

Optimists put their shoes on when humor-blogs.com says "finally".

Keep 'em coming.

So is a whip.

submitted by frequent contributor Micah Larsen
...especially sin.
----------------------------------------------

submitted by frequent contributor Micah Larsen
"But Daddy, I don't want to die!!"

Also...what does that make an unhappy family?
--------------------------------------------

submitted by frequent contributor Micah Larsen
Was somebody really disagreeing with this statement beforehand?
-------------------------------------------

“What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”
submitted and asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Jamie
...or it leaves you in a coma.
-------------------------------------------

"Fortunes told here...by God."
submitted by new contributor Jamilah Lemieux
"Doesn't look too good for you, my child."


(Too bad it wasn't Moses instead...he could use his "Pharoah Cards" *rim shot*)
-------------------------------------------

Micah tells me that Messiah Lutheran church (from the above pictures, plus many entries in the archives) can look forward to receiving a signed copy of my book this holiday season (in which they also take a starring role). That Micah...always in the giving spirit!


Speaking of my book...are you in the giving spirit? Remember that all proceeds are donated to Compassion, and the preorder period ends Nov. 6. Buy it right now for only $10.99 with free shipping, and buy one for your friends, too! Remember, if you don't "do" PayPal, email me and we'll work something out.

-------------------------------------------

Even a small humor-blogs.com shines in the darkness.

Keep 'em coming.

Pratice Makes Prefect.

submitted and asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Rev. Arnold Hendrix
You might want to "pratice" your spelling while you're at it.
---------------------------------------------------------

Sign says "Morning praise will make your days."
submitted by new contributor UberSchatz
Normally when a picture is messed up, I either try and fix it to make it look right or I just don't use it. However, I had to include this one because of UberSchatz's explanation for the quality of the sign. Also, I had to use it because it was from somebody named "UberSchatz":

"Sign found in Harrisburg, Arkansas. This picture had to be taken under the cloak of darkness since Harrisburg is the Meth-Addled, Jesus-Freak, Homo-Hillbilly Capital of the entire ****ing world and doing so in broad daylight would've earned me tarring and a feathering. "

Tell us how you really feel, bro. Don't hold it in.

(And for the record, my review would have been "...and evening praise means you probably missed your favorite TV shows.")
---------------------------------------------------

"Though the teeth may be false, let the tongue be found true."
submitted by new contributor UberSchatz
Those old people and their dentures. So prone to lying and falsehoods!
-----------------------------------------------------

Frequent contributor Nickie Albert tossed this article my way as well...and it contains a pretty crummy sign, in our opinion. You have to read the whole thing for the crumminess of the sign to take full hold of you. The sign in question reads, "Their hands are in His hands." Read the article and see for yourself what it means....

Once again, just because something is true doesn't mean it belongs on a sign.

-----------------------------------------------------


Book sales are going swell! If you haven't ordered yours yet, what are you waiting for?!? Make sure you take full advantage of the introductory offer of $10.99 with free shipping (good on orders through Nov. 6). Remember that all author's and distributor's proceeds are donated to Compassion.

Order now!

(remember if you don't do PayPal, email me and we'll work something out!)

Thanks so much to everyone who participated in the book release yesterday with emails, MySpace bulletins, blog posts, and the like. The response has been nice, and I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes over the next couple of weeks. Don't let it lose momentum! Keep talking it up at every chance you get!!

----------------------------------------------------

Though the teeth be false, may humor-blogs.com be found true.

Keep 'em coming.

Crummy Church Signs Release Party!!

WOOHOO! I wrote a book!

Click the picture to purchase your copy today!

(Well...I and the dozens upon dozens of folks who regularly contribute around here wrote a book!)

Releasing today is the second book from humor-blogs.com, my very own Crummy Church Signs Volume 1 (2004 - 2007).

Consider this a "Best of..." (or "Worst Of...", as the case may be) of the last 3 years and 700+ signs here at CCS. All properly categorized and snarked upon for your pleasure, there are also some hidden surprises (such as new reviews of some classic signs, a "Best of the Guests", featuring the top contributor-submitted reviews, the return of the Map of Crumminess and more!) This 178-page paperback coffee-table book is sure to be a conversation starter to anyone not familiar with the website.

If you're reading this post, you're likely familiar with the body of work and already know if you're interested in the book or not. If this is your first visit, take a dive into the archives on the sidebar to the right, and have some fun.

Here's a cool thing: For a limited time the book is only $10.99 with FREE shipping, and I will autograph it for you! This offer is only available until Nov. 6 at the Humor-Blogs.com store**. After that, the price will go up to the regular price of $12.99 PLUS shipping (and no signature... :( ). Make sure you order your copies in the next couple of weeks to take advantage of the huge savings.

Here's the best part: With all the psychological damage that these crummy signs have inflicted upon the world, it's time for them to start doing some good. That is why I am donating 100% of my proceeds from the sale of this book to Compassion, a Christian advocacy group for underprivileged kids in third world countries. My wife and I sponsor a Compassion child currently, and I will use the money generated from the sale of this book to further Compassion's work overseas. So not only will you bust a gut laughing at the crumminess and the scathing wit, you know that a large percentage of your money went to a good cause. (FYI: Humor-blogs.com has graciously offered to donate its share of the sales to Compassion as well. The only entity taking a "cut" of the sale is the printer).

So, take care of all of your Christmas shopping today! Order everyone on your list a book, and you can let them know that the purchase also helped out kids in need. Everybody wins!

For my longtime readers at CCS, one other request: My book's page on Lulu.com is desperately seeking positive reviews. Please note that you DO NOT want to purchase the book from there...it's $12.99 PLUS shipping from them. To get the special deal, order from the humor-blogs store. But I would love to have a high review on Lulu so I could maybe get some sales from there too, from people who don't know the wonders of Humor-Blogs.com. So please go write a positive review over there! You need a username and password and the like, but it only takes a few seconds....please?!?

A HUGE thanks to Diesel, our guru over at Humor-Blogs for encouraging me to write the thing and setting up the whole order system at humor-blogs and putting up with my constant pestering and advice-seeking. Also for proofreading it. He's a decent guy, that Diesel.

Thanks for being a part of the release party by attending! Pick up an hors d'oeuvre on your way out, and be sure to visit some of these other fine locations hosting their own release party:

Diesel at Mattress Police
Central Snark
Micah at Mad Sanity
Rev. Kenney at Reason For The Hope
Humor-blogs.com
Ironic Catholic
It's Trivial
Miss Kitty at Educated and Poor
Lar at The Big Salad
Emily's MySpace
Ryan and Nancy

If you would like to host a release party on your blog today, post your URL in the comments section and I'll add you to the above list!

**The humor-blogs.com store requires Paypal. If you are really against PayPal as a form of payment, email me and we'll try and work something out.

Isn't it spelled "scald"?

submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Rev. Randall Hildreth
Can today's present be exchanged at tomorrow's sale price?

Joel's Note: Always a great idea to put the last letter of a word at the start of a new line. That's never confusing.
-----------------------------------------------------

"There is no exits in hell."
submitted and asst. reviewed by new-ish contributor Tara
There are no grammarian at this church.
-----------------------------------------------------

"Flexible people don't get bent."
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Christine
Well then how do they know if they're flexible or not?
-----------------------------------------------------

"Keep the Sabbath day. Jesus did."
submitted by frequent contributor Christine
Did He?


Note: Yes, He did. Just not in the way people at the time expected. Which was a lot like Jesus, really. This sign is just ammunition for people who (understandably) don't "get" that part of it.
----------------------------------------------------

There are a couple of recurring sub-themes here at CCS. One is advertisements for "Christian" businesses. The other is slogans on church buses. Christine sent this one in:

Thank you. Thank you very much.

-----------------------------------------------

BE HERE TOMORROW! A major announcement is coming from Crummy Church Signs, one that we here at CCS are very excited about. Seriously, we're so excited about it that we've begun referring to ourselves in the plural. Don't miss out!!

-----------------------------------------------

Humor-blogs.com doesn't get bent.

Keep 'em coming.

Y'mean I was supposed to stop?

submitted by new contributor Jayson Whelpley
There's nothing funny about abuse, so I'll refrain from a wisecrack here (other than the post title).

My biggest question is: What the &$%# is the point of this sign?
---------------------------------------------

submitted by frequent contributor S. K. Sutton
Faster than a speeding analogy! Able to leap tall metaphors in a single bound!
---------------------------------------------------

"Missionaries are coming!"
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Christine
One if by land, two if by sea.
---------------------------------------------------

"He who throws dirt always loses."
submitted by Christine. Reviewed by her 9-year old.
What if you're in a mud-slinging contest?
---------------------------------------------------

"Party in hell canceled due to fire."
submitted by frequent contributor Christine
You should see what it did to the ice sculptures we ordered.
---------------------------------------------------

Christine recently went on vacation and sent me a wad of signs from her family's trip. I'll continue through those next week, beginning on Monday.

Also, there's some enormous news here at CCS that I'll announce Tuesday. Make sure you stop by! I may have taken care of all of your Christmas shopping for you already.
-----------------------------------------------------

Parties at humor-blogs.com are never canceled due to fire.

Keep 'em coming.

Because I found these great mothballs...

seen on Flickr. submitted by Ironic Catholic.
"...but I'm not "busy" enough to really enjoy it in here."
-----------------------------------------------

seen of Flickr. Submitted AND reviewed by Ironic Catholic.
Repeat after me...the Civil War is over.

Oh...baseball...
----------------------------------------

In the last couple of days I've had a couple of interesting pastor names sent to me as well. Though there's nothing crummy about names, these pictures are pretty amusing and I thought I would pass them along.

First, from new contributor Paul Drake:

Paul named the above picture file "yes_he_does.jpg" Whee!!

And secondly, from frequent contributor Steve Sensenig:

Pastor Pickle picked a peck of pickled peppers....
-----------------------------------------------

My "boss" over at Central Snark, Neva, has been through a lot lately. Please keep her and her family in your prayers, if you're the praying sort. I am, and I will too.

---------------------------------------------------

Humor-blogs.com is too busy to come out of the closet.

Keep 'em coming.

Well...at least they bless them first.

submitted by new contributor Rimarama
B.Y.O.P.

Thanks to Rimarama for the post title as well
----------------------------------------------

submitted by frequent contributors Ryan and Nancy DeVries, Chennai, India
This sign is straight from the Bible. But context is so important.

Ryan thinks this sign is true because the sign they had up last week was so successful:
"A generous man will prosper" Proverbs 11:25.
-----------------------------------------------------

"The years of your life shall increase"
submitted by frequent contributors Ryan and Nancy DeVries, Chennai, India
Phew...I was getting worried there for a minute.
-------------------------------------------------------

"God Provides A Meal. Friday 6 PM"
submitted AND reviewed by new contributor Tara
This sign was up for a month or so, but as Tara says, "Alas, I must report, the sign was changed this past week, to which I can only conclude that either a.) God got tired of having to do all the dishes afterwards, or b.) No one fancied His cooking."
------------------------------------------------------

The years of humor-blogs.com's life shall increase.

Keep 'em coming.

In a Snark Far, Far Away

It's Tuesday Snark time! Go see why the new second-in-command at Crummy Church Signs is in a festive spirit.

More crumminess tomorrow...if I get some sent to me!

Keep the crumminess coming!

EDIT: Also check out fellow Humor Blogger and frequent contributor to CCS Allen's Brain in Part 4 of Ironic Catholic's series of interviews with Christian humor-bloggers.

Do I Want To Go Church Here? Depends...

submitted by frequent contributor Jerry Webber
We will also wipe and powder your @$$, but we usually save that for the new members class.
-----------------------------------------------------

submitted by new contributor Lauren Bingham
An "Impact", huh? This looks like a job for Bethany.
--------------------------------------------------------

"If you don't climb the mountain, you can't enjoy the view."
submitted by frequent contributor Bruce Bezaire
Unless you happen to enjoy looking up at mountains.
---------------------------------------------------------

And a big Happy Birthday to the previous contributor, my father, Bruce Bezaire!

Humor-blogs.com makes an "Impact" on society.

Keep 'em coming.

But is it low in carbs?

submitted by frequent contributor Micah Larsen
Swallowing someone else's pride is just loaded, however.

Thanks to Micah for the post title as well.
-------------------------------------------------

submitted by frequent contributor Rev. Randall Hildreth
We've already had a memorable guest review of this sign: Who can forget my sister Emily's classic "A Hemi?" riff?
However, I did like the review that Rev. Hildreth sent in with this particular version:

"Crammingmorelettersonyoursignwon'tgetitreadanymore
thanifyouhadsomethingdecenttosay"

--------------------------------------------------

"God has no Plan 'B'"
submitted by frequent contributor Marnie Plucienik
Sin in the Garden of Eden was God's plan all along.
---------------------------------------------------

"0 and 6 isn't that bad! Jesus' team of disciples had problems too!"
submitted and asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Megan Wetekamp. Seen in South Bend Indiana, before the Notre Dame football team defeated UCLA to move to 1-5 on the season (NOT 0-6)
Isn't there a verse in Proverbs about not counting your chickens or something??
---------------------------------------------------

"If we don't talk then you don't have a prayer.-God"
submitted by frequent contributor Amanda
And even then, it looks pretty bleak for you.
--------------------------------------------------

Ironic Catholic is hosting a series of "Interviews" with Christians bloggers regarding their view of the role of humor in Christianity. Today it's my turn!! Check out our interview and please leave comments. Thanks for the great questions, IC!

Be sure to look at the previous interview, too, and look for future interviews (including some with a frequent contributor or two here at CCS)

----------------------------------------------------

Humor-blogs.com has no Plan "B"

Keep 'em coming.

Timely, no? (Timely? No.)

submitted by frequent contributor Rev. Scott Gordon
"Our Father, who art in heaven....WAZZUP?!?!"
--------------------------------------------------

"There's peace and calm in the 23 Psalms."
submitted by Anna Gravier
Well I wish they'd give me a list of which 23 Psalms provide peace and calm and which of the other 127 Psalms provide conflict and panic, because I'd really like to avoid those last kind.
-------------------------------------------------

"The Saints win here every Sunday"
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Rev. John Allen Bankson
Gives new meaning to the term "Fantasy Football"
------------------------------------------------

"Once forgiven, don't reheat your sins for breakfast!"
submitted by frequent contributor Brett McNew
Just slice a banana and pour some milk on them, and they're good to go.
------------------------------------------------

The war or words between Crummy Church Signs' Right-Hand Wookie Kalfu'ur and Mattress Police's Meme-Wraith Grundir continues unabated over at Central Snark this morning. Seriously, there's no sign of anyone bating at all.
Be sure to check out today's interview with the two blog assistants, moderated by Lampsha (doing a fine James Lipton impression).

Back with more crumminess tomorrow...
-------------------------------------------------

There's peace and calm in humor-blogs.com

(Whee! That one rhymed!)

Keep 'em coming.

Second Line: "Because The Spirit Gave Me A Shove"

submitted and asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Ryan Geer
Did this pastor attend seminary on Dagobah? Or did Yoda write this sign?

Kalfu'ur isn't impressed.
--------------------------------------------------

"The 'city' of happiness is found in the 'state' of mind."
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Emily Bezaire
Which is in the 'country' of fantasy, on the 'continent' of delusion, on the 'planet' of whim...
------------------------------------------------

"There is no heavier load than a chip on the shoulder."
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Emily Bezaire
Come to think of it, I HAD noticed Tom Cruise was developing a hunchback.
------------------------------------------------

"Trying times are times for trying harder."
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Emily Bezaire
If at first you don't redeem, try, try again.
-----------------------------------------------

"We use duct tape to fix everything. God used nails."
submitted by frequent contributor Emily Bezaire
I can think of one thing that would be best fixed by a large rock thrown directly through the center of it.
------------------------------------------------

It's nice to know that in case I ever have a tragic accident, Crummy Church Signs will be left in good hands, and left in the family. Thanks, Emily!

Humor-blogs.com knows me, this I love.

Keep 'em coming.

Guest Guest Poster at The Snark

Well, I sacrificed my normal Tuesday Snark post in order that a special guest might make his debut post on the Inter-net.

I am pleased to introduce you to a new associate of mine: Kalfu'ur, Dauntless One.


Keep 'em coming. More crumminess tomorrow.

It must be football season....

submitted by new contributor Stephen Gray
If they don't like football at all, you may feel free to hate them.

(By the way, we have a pastor or two that frequent this site that will argue vehemently that the Cowboys are, in fact, "God's Team". I expect a comment from one of them in 3....2....1.....)

(Thanks to Stephen for the post title also)
------------------------------------------------

submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Duane Brown
Uhhh...let me restate that better...
----------------------------------------------

"Science is never misquoted."
submitted by frequent contributor Joy Cook
...but we do our best to misunderstand it.

(What point are they trying to make with that sign?)
---------------------------------------------

"God went through a lot of trouble to make you His child"
submitted by frequent contributor Jamie Dunbar
The labor lasted all night!
----------------------------------------------

"Joy is a by-product of trusting in God."
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Lincoln J.
Watch your step...we've got a lot of this by-product laying around here, and we can't figure out how to dispose of it properly.
--------------------------------------------

Joy is a by-product of trusting in humor-blogs.com

Keep 'em coming.

Journey's Playing Here?

submitted by frequent contributor Duane Brown
Nothing to hide. Believe what we say.


(Post Title credit to Duane, also)
--------------------------------------------------

submitted by frequent contributor Duane Brown
It infuriates us when people don't!!
--------------------------------------------------

submitted by frequent contributor Duane Brown
When the rain starts to fall.
------------------------------------------------

"God does not need a suggestion box."
submitted by frequent contributor Joy C.
Well nobody asked my opinion about that...
---------------------------------------------

And, from my father, another one of those businesses that tries to market its Christianity for its financial gain. This one's a realtor, and my dad helped with the review as well...

The three most important things about eternity?
Location, location, location.

-------------------------------------------------

Hey I actually have a real job, too. And it turns out some people think I'm pretty good at it.

The 2007 Best of Nashville awards came out this week. Readers of the Nashville Scene write in votes on a number of categories. Check out this link, scroll down a little bit over the half-way point of the page, under the category "Best Teacher - Private."

It turns out that my sustained program of coercion, pressure and bribery worked on my seventh graders. Who knew?
---------------------------------------------------

Humor-blogs.com does not need a suggestion box.

Keep 'em coming.