"What Would Jesus say to Britney Spears?"

submitted by Elizabeth Stewart and Jona & Tish from Decatur, GA
You mean besides "Please get your tubes tied."? Not sure. But he is probably telling you and I to pay more attention to the things he is telling you and I and less attention to what he is saying to overhyped celebrities.

"Eight words that can change your life."
submitted by Jeff Keezel
Actually, that's only 7. And honestly, they really didn't do that much for me.

"Our God is a consuming fire."
submitted by Rev. Arnold Hendrix, Atmore, AL
Okay, normally I am OK with Scripture on a church sign. But can we get some context for the unchurched, PLEASE?!?! Pyro from the X-Men is a consuming fire as well...does that mean I should worship him too, or what?

"Fresh as water or dried up and dusty."
submitted by Rev. Arnold Hendrix, Atmore, AL
Who is? Or what is? And what about salt water? What is this sign talking about? My head hurts.

"Hungry? Try one of our Sundays!"
submitted by Bruce Bezaire, Smyrna, TN
Niiiice play on words. Clever. *rolls eyes*

By the way, what if some legitimately hungry people do show up on Sunday? Do you think they have enough food around to feed them? "Oh....we were just sort of... joking around. Sorry." Great witness, guys.

"3-0! Go Dores!"
submitted by Bruce Bezaire, Smyrna, TN
This is in reference to Vanderbilt University's 3-0 start to this year's football season. Is it divine retribution on this sign that they are now 4-6? What a waste of space on a sign. "Boy I wish I knew what time this church held their services.....but it's nice to know that they're Vandy fans."

"Parking for church business only. Violators will be baptized."
submitted by Jennifer Bezaire, Smyrna, TN
Yep. Our religion and form of worship is so bad we use it as a threat to keep people away from our building. Works like a charm.

Idiots.




By the way, I have had a few requests recently for a list of good church signs. Sorry, everyone....so much garbage to review, so little time.....


Thanks to the new readers who submitted signs this time, and thanks again to my regular submitters, less and less of whom are my immediate family members.

Keep sending them in. 400+ visitors a week to the site! I should get a bunch more crummy submissions! Remember to read the archives for more great reviews.