Thursday, May 21, 2009

Please ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for church...

"Maximized Manhood"
submitted by f.c. Katherine T.
Matt 4:19 : "Come after me, and I will make you fishers of well-endowed men..."

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"Have you asked God for afesis today"
submitted by Aaron L.
Was someone dictating this sign, but then sneezed? What's 'afesis'?

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"Angel food ministries"
submitted/asst. reviewed by f.c. S.K. Sutton
Transubstantiation taken to a whole new level.

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"Garden for God. Turnip for church"
seen here on Flickr by f.c. Ironic Catholic
So funny I nearly soiled myself...


(Note...visit the Flickr site linked above to see some pretty funny puns submitted by users. Turns out there's no end to veggie jokes.)

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13 comments:

  1. JessieMay 21, 2009 at 6:26 AM

    Sorry to ruin your fun, but:
    http://www.angelfoodministries.com/

    :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Joel B.May 21, 2009 at 6:49 AM

    Oh, I knew about it...great organization.

    The three words seemingly randomly placed on the church sign can lead to some funny mental images, that's all...

    ReplyDelete
  3. BMay 21, 2009 at 7:15 AM

    'Afesis'=NT Greek word for 'Forgiveness'.

    But the sign is still hilarious, because it makes absolutely no sense to most people.

    ReplyDelete
  4. beautifulmondayMay 21, 2009 at 7:35 AM

    oooh your comment on the first one is BAAAD. yoikes.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Joel B.May 21, 2009 at 7:37 AM

    JF: Thanks...at least I know they weren't crazy, just highly over-estimating the general public's knowledge of Greek.

    BM: They really should not put up signs about "manhood". My bad comment just sprung (ha!) from a bad sign...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Cooking AssholeMay 21, 2009 at 8:35 AM

    If your maximized manhood lasts for more than four hours consult your priest...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Saint SchizophreniaMay 22, 2009 at 8:30 AM

    If you find yourself in a church service lasting for more than four hours...

    ReplyDelete
  8. JoyfulMay 23, 2009 at 7:10 PM

    I don't even know where to start with a comment on these. Too, too funny!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ms. LatinaMay 25, 2009 at 8:24 PM

    I don't get this one. Pls enlighten this over caffinated and sleep deprived female LOL


    "Garden for God. Turnip for church"
    Thanks!
    latinaonamission (AT) gmail (DOT) com

    ReplyDelete
  10. The Ironic CatholicMay 26, 2009 at 8:39 AM

    Garden for God (maybe a reference to the sower parable, not sure)
    Turnip for Church (like, TURN UP for Church)

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. emmaMay 26, 2009 at 11:56 AM

    i want to go to the first church.

    Just saying....

    ReplyDelete
  12. Reformed CatholicMay 27, 2009 at 12:41 PM

    I was reading the puns on the 'Garden for God', and there was one pun that kinda missed the mark:

    "many are cold, but few are frozen".

    I would have gone with"

    "Many are culled, from few are frozen".

    ReplyDelete
  13. Miss KittyMay 27, 2009 at 8:43 PM

    This heaping pile of crumminess totally made my day. Thanks, Joel! :-)

    ReplyDelete

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