Monday, January 9, 2006

"Living With Power in 2006"

"Living With Confidence in 2006"
"Living With Consideration in 2006"
(a series of 3 consecutive church signs in 3 consecutive weeks)
submitted by Jennifer Bezaire, Smyrna, TN
Galatians 5:22: "And the fruits of the Spirit are Power, Confidence, Consideration....." Or not.

"New Pastor, New Look. Come in and see!"
submitted by Eric Skaggs, Massilon, OH
As Eric pointed out in his email....this sign just kind of makes you wonder what happened with the old pastor that made them not only get rid of him, but totally redecorate as well.

"Troubles, like babies, grow through nursing."
submitted and asst. reviewed by Steve Lopez, Ozark, MO
So.....troubles suck? I already knew that!

"Will the road your on get you to my place? - God"
The fact that the author of the church sign can't even study basic grammar doesn't cause me to hold out a lot of hope for his or her study of theology. Your = possessive. You're = "you are".

"Instead of looking forward or backward, try looking upward!"
Possibly not the best advice to give to people who are driving past your church. As my friend John said, "What if I don't have a sunroof?"

"If Christ offends you, imagine what hell will do."
submitted by Bruce and Emily Bezaire, Smyrna, TN
I know it's early, but we have a leader in the clubhouse for the title of "Worst Sign of 2006". Only in America can we get a church sign to favorably compare Christ and hell. And, yeah, I know what they were trying to say...that doesn't count because most unchurched people wouldn't. Time for this church to pull it's head out of it's &^%%$ and quit offending me. :)

"Faith is a journey, not a destination."
And speaking of Journey, the other side of the sign read, "Don't stop....beleeeeeevin'....."


...actually that's a lie. That sign would have been much better than what was actually on the other side. The other side read:


"Be quiet enough to hear God whisper"
...because God isn't loud enough when he wants to be. It's up to YOU to get close enough.
Great idea for the .0001% of people who are strong enough to stay close to God on their own. As for me, I am going to have to rely on God's strength to keep me close enough. And for God to be loud enough to get through my thick skull.

Happy new year everyone! Keep the crummy signs coming!

3 comments:

  1. That first one makes me long for a blog devoted to "Lame Sermon Series Titles"

    ReplyDelete
  2. First off, I really love looking at your site... very interesting and thought provoking.
    Secondly... do you really think that ALL the signs you review are quite awful, or do you just kind of like putting the cynical spin on them because it's funny? It IS quite funny, but I'm really interested in knowing. The one at the top of this page, for instance, doesn't seem that bad to me. NO, those are not fruits of the spirit. But who knows what the sermon was like?? Maybe living with confidence was an exhortation to die to self and let CHRIST'S power live in you; to acknowledge your weakness and depend on His strength...? That's all! Thanks for keeping us laughing...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks for the nice words, Elisa.

    First of all, I do think that every sign I post about has something(s) wrong with it. Some are definitely much worse than others, but its not funny if I review them that way :)

    The ones you mention are basically OK, but certainly not great, therefore they get the royal treatment.

    Thanks for reading!

    ReplyDelete