"God loves weed, too"submitted by Doug L.
...and we finally have an explanation for the platypus!
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"We practice human sacrifice"submitted by Leslie O.
We're still practicing because we're not very good yet...we keep only maiming instead of sacrificing.
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"Comfort the disturbed. Disturb the comforted."submitted by frequent contributors Ryan and Nancy D.
To finish the quote: Should I bury the dead and roast them afterwards, too?
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"I had something different in mind"submitted/asst. reviewed by Gene A.
Pastor: 'About our church sign; I had something different in mind...'
Deacon: 'OK, got it!'
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"Remember you are dust"submitted by frequent contributors Ryan and Nancy D.
No wonder I keep sneezing; I'm allergic to myself.
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And finally, this gem of a pastor's name submitted by frequent contributor S.K. Sutton:
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Quite a post today. When else would "We Practice Human Sacrifice" get pushed down to the #2 slot?!?
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That third one's particularly bad. Not only is it an ongoing cycle, but they couldn't even spell "comforted" right.
ReplyDeleteActually, the third one is traced back to Peter Maurin, the co-founder of the Catholic Worker movement, which practices what they (we) understand to be a radical form of the Sermon on the Mount: voluntary poverty, hospitality to the marginalized, and standing up for peace always.
ReplyDeletePeter's phrase was "to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable"
However, I can see how that could be misinterpreted in a church sign.
Yahweh's a toker, eh?
(Never thought I'd type that one)
Oh Joel that first one had me cracking up (no pun intended)!!! And the comeback about the platypus was just priceless! God deff has a sense of humor! Being from Texas and coming from rednecks shows the sense of humor God has! Thank you for that laugh I have been needing it!
ReplyDeleteGod Bless
Shauna
I'd long suspected God had a sense of humor -- he'd have to to still love us as messed up as we are -- but one look at Proverbs 27:14 confirms it!
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Joel! (And congrats on the Mattress Police caption contest win!)
Growing up in the home of a small church pastor, I know how hard it is to come up with those sayings every single week.
ReplyDeleteBeing the kid who often had to go change the sign, I know how easy it is to miss a letter.
With all that in mind, I still can't help but laugh at most of the signs I see every week. It's just awful!
And when it rains
ReplyDeleteI become mud
LOL @ the weed joke!
ReplyDeleteJoel, I've saved up quite a few pictures of the crumminess down here in Georgia, where the church signs are still astounding me with how awful they are. Will send them soon. Thanks as always for the laughs.
Just found your blog from Unnecessary Quotation Marks. Hilarious. You're an instant favorite of mine and I'm following. On the lookout for crummy church signs in the Pacific Northwest.
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog on Alltop. Can't wait to submit something!
ReplyDeleteHey, and Happy Easter to you!
ReplyDeleteThe best church sign I have seen to date read, "STOP DROP AND ROLL DOESN'T WORK IN HELL." I wish I had a camera on-hand at the time!
ReplyDeleteHere's another sign for your Journal at: http://normanteigen.blogspot.com/2009/04/sign-language-start-of-new-feature-on.html
ReplyDeleteHey, are you ever going to post again? That would be cool.
ReplyDeleteMy word veri word is 'undamp.'
Undamp indeed, my friend!