submitted by Bruce Bezaire, Smyrna, TN
Oh yeah? Well the jerk store called...and they're outta YOU!
PS: If you didn't get that one, watch more Seinfeld.
"Pessimists need a kick in the can'ts"
submitted by Bruce Bezaire, Smyrna, TN
And church sign writers need a kick in the....
By the way, has this church read the Bible? Those prophets tended to some pessimism from time to time. I think there's a place and a time for some pessimism, you know? Appropriately, of course.
Anyhow...
"Egotism is obesity of the head."
submitted by Bruce Bezaire, Smyrna, TN
Do they have another sign that says "Gluttony is obesity of the butt"? Let's make a church sign for every sin, just in case we don't "convict" everyone who drives by. "Lust is obesity of the....." OK... never mind.
"O Come All Ye Faithful...and Not So Faithful."
submitted by Jenn Bezaire, Smyrna, TN
And completely unfaithful. You come too. Bring the spinach dip.
"Come Worship At the Side Door: Contemporary. Casual. Cool."
submitted by theKeez, Richmond, VA
YES! The 3 most important things!! All in one place!!
(Also, anyone care to bet that they only really achieve the second of those three adjectives? I've got a twenty on it.)
"SEASONS CHANGE
GOD DOESN'T
WELCOME"
submitted by supernet, Mt. Eaton, Ohio
A little punctuation goes a loooooong ways, folks.
"Dusty Bibles lead to dirty lives."
submitted by David Jacks, East Texas
So, welcome to our church, those of you who haven't looked at your Bible in a while. We are completely superior to you in every way. Would you like a bulletin?
"Got Jesus?"
submitted and assisted reveiwed by Allison, Greeneville, SC
What, was the Taco Bell dog not available? Yo quiero Jèsus! I wonder when Christianity will catch up to the mainstream and only be....I dunno.....only 5 years behind every current trend, rather than the current 10 to 15.
Better yet, why doesn't Christianity suck it up and actually try and get AHEAD of the trends. We claim to be tapped in to the most creative being EVER, so perhaps we can use that to our advantage, rather than pathetically aping every lame trend that Hollywood and Madison Ave. throw at us. I can't even walk into a "Christian" bookstore any longer without throwing up in my mouth just a little bit. Every ridiculous t-shirt, bumper sticker, self-help book (grrr...), and newly released CD that copies 1994's favorite secular band makes me wish a little harder for the Lord's return...if only to save us from ourselves.
Thanks to my family, who came through in the clutch on this batch of submissions with 4 big ones! Unfortunately, it appears that the Nashville area is turning into a breeding ground of CRAP when it comes to church signs. Thanks to everyone else who submitted as well.
KEEP 'EM COMING
Oh let me just say that we are soooo sorry you are in Nashville where this crappy church sign deal goes down maybe worse than in any other part of the country...and to say that your comment on why can't we actually get ahead of the culture is dead on with what our pastor use to say, Dale Everist of New Song, in Brentwood. "Why are we taking what God gives us and run with it? Why are we setting the standard? Why are we excelling, as opposed to following behind by a decade or more?". Anyway, thanks for using our pathetic sighting...and for pointing out what would SEEM obvious.
ReplyDeleteI meant, why AREN'T we, not why ARE we, setting the standard and excelling...ooops. Maybe this faux pas is why...
ReplyDeleteI sent you the "Side Door" sign. It's at Ginter Park UMC in Richmond, VA. Everytime I see it I think: "If you gotta say it's 'cool' then it's NOT 'cool'"...thekeez
ReplyDelete