submitted by Emily Bezaire, Smyrna, TN
Oh, those two! Original sin can be so cute if you put the right spin on it!
"Doubt and do without. Believe and receive."
submitted by Jennifer Bezaire, Smyrna, TN
Nothing like giving people a realistic vision of Christ's providence. And this is nothing like it.
"Kind words make happy echoes."
submitted by Jennifer Bezaire, Smyrna, TN
Maybe we can combine the Lord's supper with fortune cookies....our wafers can have little slips of paper with "wise" sayings like this. Sadly, I could probably make a killing with that idea.
"Church is a gift from God: some assembly is required."
submitted by Emily Bezaire, Smyrna, TN
...and batteries are not included? Offer not valid in Alaska and Hawaii?
"Rabies clinic: 10 AM"
submitted by Emily Bezaire, Smyrna, TN
Is there really NOTHING more important going on in the life of this church?!?
"Wake up call! This Saturday at 7:30 and 9:30"
submitted by David Finch, DC
Turn down service is also available. And they leave a nice mint on your pew on Sunday morning.
"Be encouraged and be an encourager!"
submitted AND asst. reviewed by David Finch, DC
Taken from the book Suicide Counseling for Dummies.
"You can't hide from God by not coming to church."
submitted AND asst. reviewed by David Jacks, TX
Yep. He will pretty much hunt you down and get you. Sucka.
"God replaces the lazy with the diligent"
submitted by Miss Kitty at http://educatedandpoor.blogspot.com
Really? If only Pat Robertson would start to slack a little.....
"Determination is the key to success"
submitted by David Finch, DC
WHAT!?!? On a CHURCH sign? What Bible does this guy preach from? I am tempted to give a few Bible verses that refute this, but you can pretty much just open it up anywhere and start reading. You'll get there soon enough.
If you don't know what I'm talking about: According to Christianity, the key to success is relying on the work of Christ on the cross and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. A little idea called "faith". Not this "determination" bullcrap.
EXAMPLE: I could be determined to dance ballet. I will never make it. I have all the coordination of a drunk, vertiginous giraffe. I'm sure everyone out there has an example as well.
Wow, that's awful. Maryland just made it to orange on the Map of Crumminess (link to the right) with that one. And red isn't far behind.
------------------------------------
I could probably start a blog on Crummy "Christian Band" Names as well. I don't have the time, but I do feel the need to share this one that my sister submitted: "Eve's Hero" Take a second and ponder on what they could possibly mean by that.........
Thanks for all the submissions! Keep sending them in!
Thanks for posting my church sign submission, Joel! I'll make sure to send you future juicy ones. My sister and I are going on a cross-country road trip from Colorado to Georgia in mid-May, so we're *sure* to find at least a few tacky signs.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for making us laugh! I'm glad that someone else out there is questioning these doofus signs when passing them by.
Oh, I forgot to mention: I live in Georgia, which is also where I saw "God replaces the lazy with the diligent." Georgia's certainly on its way to red on the Map of Crumminess.
ReplyDeleteBack to the apple vs. pair debate. A pair of what? Is this some sort of vague reference to the fact that its Eve's fault we're all headed to hell? Or what?
ReplyDeleteI was looking at the "Determination is the key to success." Your ballet example is kind of vague, because we fail to define success, or ballet, for that matter.
ReplyDeleteHowever, one would think that determination and descernment would make for success in the world.
In response to the last comment, I think the point is that "success" in the context of the church comes only through the life, death and resurrection of Christ. I can be as determined, disciplined and good as Gandhi and yet I will never bridge the gap caused by my rebellion against God. Only the finished work of Christ will bridge that gap.
ReplyDeleteIs dogged determination necessary for various aspects of life? Yes, absolutely. And even the puritans and the reformers would argue that determination is the key to the successful pursuit of holiness in the life of a Christian (determination that is dependent on the work of the Holy Spirit in overcoming sin). However, my concern is that most passersby would look at this this sign and mistakenly draw the conclusion that salvation simply depends on their ability to acheive some level of goodness that they have defined for themselves apart from the Bible. Further to the point, my concern is that the Church in the United States (and probably Europe) has completely lost its grasp of the gospel and the need for the Cross. Which is very sad given that the Cross is at the very heart of the Bible.
Peeved in D.C.
AMEN, "Peeved"!
ReplyDeleteSomething can certainly be said for a level of determination, BUT.....
There seems to be an inherent meaning in the word "determination" of which we must be careful. Most people take "determination" to mean a completely self-willed effort. Almost to the point of having such faith in oneself that no other outcome but the desired outcome is possible.
This self-willed effort is certainly not a hallmark of Christianity. Since this meaning has permeated the word, perhaps we ought not use it on our church signs.