Everybody hide!

"The Spirit of Jesus is here!"
submitted by Nicholas K.
Wait...Jesus is dead?!?

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"Santa didn't die for sins"
posted here on Flickr//submitted by Ironic Catholic
Wait...Santa is dead?!?

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"Jesus is the rizzle for the sizzle"
posted here on Flickr//submitted by Ironic Catholic
In excelsis dizzle...

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"The best gifts come wrapped in people"
submitted by Eaquae Legit
The worst gifts come wrapped in people parts...

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"God placed his greatest gift on the tree, not under it"
submitted by Kimberly I.
And since you forgot to look for it there, it's now packed with the ornaments and lights up in the attic.

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"Wilberforce fought for justice - his guide? The Bible. It can help you too"
submitted by Kimberly I.
Timely!!

(While people should know who Wilberforce is, how many actually do?)

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Not a lot of pictures on this post, but mostly because I couln't get permission from the Flickr pictures' owners to post the pictures. Do take a second to confirm that the 2nd and 3rd signs in this post are real by clicking on the Flickr link. Wow...

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Happy New Year, everyone!

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Merry Christmas from Crummy Church Signs!

"What God wants for Christmas is you."
submitted by Peter K.
Funny...that's the same thing Mariah Carey said she wanted...


EDIT 12/29: I had to add this to this post...I found it today on the FailBlog. Enjoy:

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Merry Christmas, everyone.

Romans 5: 12-17 (NLT) :

"When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned. Yes, people sinned even before the law was given. But it was not counted as sin because there was not yet any law to break. Still, everyone died—from the time of Adam to the time of Moses—even those who did not disobey an explicit commandment of God, as Adam did. Now Adam is a symbol, a representation of Christ, who was yet to come. But there is a great difference between Adam’s sin and God’s gracious gift. For the sin of this one man, Adam, brought death to many. But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and his gift of forgiveness to many through this other man, Jesus Christ. And the result of God’s gracious gift is very different from the result of that one man’s sin. For Adam’s sin led to condemnation, but God’s free gift leads to our being made right with God, even though we are guilty of many sins. For the sin of this one man, Adam, caused death to rule over many. But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and his gift of righteousness, for all who receive it will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ."


Christmas is only good news if you first understand the bad news. We here at CCS hope Christ is more to you than just a baby in a manger this holiday season...

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Please don't be dumb. Jesus is the Son.

"Please don't be sad. Jesus is your dad."
submitted/originally posted by f.c. Gavin R.
"...so even when things get bad, He can make your life really rad!"

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"Reason is the greatest enemy that faith has!"

submitted by Greg S.//Originally posted here
This sign proves that far too often it's the other way around.

It doesn't have to be...

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"See the other side."
submitted by frequent contributor Rickey Henderson
...preferably on your return trip.

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"Holy Ho' Down"
submitted by April G.//Originally posted here
I've been getting a little flack lately via email and the comments about breaking my own rules. I state in the sidebar that signs that advertise church events are NOT crummy. But sometimes signs advertise those event quite crummily.

For example, in the world outside of the church there's a significant difference between a "Hoe Down" and a "Ho' down" (strong offensive language advisory on that second link).

If you don't think every non-believer between the ages of 14-25 giggled at that "Ho' Down" sign when they went past, you're fooling yourself...

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"He enjoys much who is thankful 4 much. Try B N grateful!"
submitted by Maggie N.
Is there some new IPhone app. where you can text your message directly to your sign?

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submitted by Brad K.
Originally posted on Failblog
Well...Welcoming... Fail pretty much sums it up for me, I guess....

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"Hell is totally uncool. Don't even go there."
submitted by Adam Key
Yeah, but I've heard that the women there are hot.

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"Hurry! I am returning soon! -Jesus"
submitted/ asst. reviewed by Kimberly I.
Crap, I can't find a place to hide!!

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"Time for twos"
submitted AND reviewed by Kimberly I.
The Father, the Son, and that's it.

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"Prime time - Adult Day Care, Senior Citizen Center, and Youth Group"
submitted AND reviewed by Kimberly I.
Yep, we just put them all in front of the TV.

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"Time well spent lasts a lifetime."
submitted by Kimberly I.
And since there's no such thing as "eternity", a lifetime is all we care about!

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"Have a hurt, habit, or hang-up? Celebrate recovery!"
submitted by Kimberly I.
Crack open a cold one!

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Hey Facebookers...CCS is now on the Networked Blogs app on Facebook. There's a new box in the top section of the right-hand side column. Click it and join the CCS network, and while you're at it, friend me!!

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Shiver me timbers...

"To err is human. To arrrr is pirate."
submitted by frequent contributor Randy B.
This sign swabs the poop deck.

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"Have you took time to pray today?"
submitted AND reviewed by Dennis M.
No, I ain't!

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"Fire proof your marriage."
submitted by frequent contributor S.K. Sutton
My wife is going to love the asbestos coat I got her for Christmas!

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"Come apart and rest awhile before you come apart."
submitted by Lindsey B.
Church: Helping you fall to pieces for over 2000 years!

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And now, a series of signs submitted by frequent contributor Rev. Charles S. The signs were found in Southern Michigan. Imagine how poor the unemployment numbers in that state would truly be except for this apparent rash of pastoral hirings...

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"God gave you 86400 seconds today. Have you used one to say 'thank you'"?
submitted by frequent contributor Katherine T.
Well, I got as far as "Thank y-", and then my second was up...

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So, during a recent long stretch where I ran out of submissions and wasn't receiving any more useful pictures, I kinda got used to not posting. Now that I have a bunch of submissions again, I'm finding it hard to get back into the habit. I hope perhaps there are still some readers out there (my traffic, amazingly, has only slightly declined...so somebody's reading something.)

Anyhow, I'll try to get another couple of posts up in the next week or so. Or at least one post. Within the next month.

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Isle of View, too.

"Isle of View! Jesus."
submitted by frequent contributor Micah L.
If only Jesus had actually spoken in riddles instead of parables. How much more meaningful would "Isle of View!" been than the parable of the lost sheep?

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"Are you chilly let God be your comforter."
submitted by Jonathan J.
And if you're freezing, ask God about a travel package to a really warm destination!

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"What everyone dislikes and God hates."
submitted by frequent contributor Miss Kitty
So I see they've watched Rosie O'Donnell's new variety show...

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"Ignoring facts does nothing to change them"
submitted by frequent contributor Chandler C.
Someone let me know if this sign changes. I'm busy ignoring it.

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"I want 2B UR BFF. Love, God."
submitted by John F.
WTF?

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"Thank the Lord He loadeth us daily with blessings."
submitted by frequent contributor Barbara B.
Thank the Lord my church graduated from the King's English...

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The Holidays always bring an increase in submissions...I've got some more to get through, including what appears to be a rash of pastoral firings and hirings in Michigan. Stay tuned!

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Long-time readers know that I've been pushing humor-blogs.com for freakin' ever around here. It's provided CCS with lots of traffic over the past couple of years. Well, Diesel has a new project entitled Blogerella. It's like h-b, but you don't have to have a humor blog...it's for ANY type blog! Go check it out and sign up if you are in the blogosphere...you can get more information here.

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Definitely not Calvinists:

"God intervenes by invitation only"
submitted by frequent contributor Chandler C.
Let's ask Job what he thinks about this sign...

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"Bus appreciation Sunday"
submitted by frequent contributor Scott G.
Thousands of disappointed Pittsburgh Steeler fans showed up only to discover that Jerome Bettis would NOT be making an appearance...

However this was STILL a better idea than their original "Taxi Appreciation Tuesday".



(I should correct a technicality: Scott didn't submit this to me specifically; I stole it from his status update on Facebook. I figure that's like submitting it...)

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"A clean conscious makes a soft pillow"
submitted AND reviewed by new contributor Chelsea J.
Yeah, I have a hard time sleeping when I'm awake, too...

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"God bless mother's through adopotion what greater love."
submitted AND reviewed by Lara L.
What, you mean I went through a home study, background checks, miles of paperwork and months and months of waiting, and all I had to do was take a potion?!?


Joel's note: Let's count what's wrong with this sign:
1) Improper apostrophe
1b) Upside down apostrophe (thanks, Minh!)
2) Misspelled "adoption"
3) No greater love than adoption? Jesus himself disagrees.

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Found another cool thing on my Facebook feed...check out this video entitled "What if Starbucks Marketed Like a Church". My favorite is the bumper stickers, but the whole thing is definitely inspired:

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This Sunday's Sermon: States' Rights!

"A stone is heavy but the wrath of a fool is heavier. Jefferson Davis, Pastor."
submitted by Alex S.
And a rolling fool gathers no moss, either...

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"Faith is the awareness of utter helplessness witout God."
submitted AND reviewed by f.c. Aaron A.
Shame is the awareness of utter helplessness without Spell-Check.

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"For time and eternity Jesus is all we need."
submitted by frequent contributor Aaron A.
We also need Him for saving our sorry asses from hell. But more importantly, we need Him for time and eternity.

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"Faith without work is dead."
submitted by frequent contributor Cory H.
Speaking of "dead"...doesn't the Bible say something about misquoting it??

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"Where will you be sitting in etemity? Smoking or non-smoking?"

submitted by Alisa M.
A classic crummy church sign with a little different twist on the spelling...

Alisa assures us that it was misspelled on both sides.

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