submitted by Tracy R., SCAnd my guess is you could still feed the preacher, while you're at it...
I like the church name as much as the crummy slogan. "Donalds Church of God". Does Donald offer other churches that I should know about?
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"Any fool can criticize and most fools do"
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Emily Bezaire, TN
Yeah, Jesus. Enough overturning of tables and daring to cast stones. Just live and let live, man. Be cool.
"Tough times don't last, tough people do."
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Emily Bezaire, TN
Brando was tough once. Now? Not so much.
Joel's note: Isn't this sign saying the EXACT POLAR OPPOSITE thing as "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth." ?!? Jesus says be meek and you will inherit the earth. This church says be tough, and you will outlast the meek. I guess this is what Jesus meant to say.
"What you do with Jesus will determine what He'll do with you"
submitted and asst. reviewed by Emily Bezaire, TN
Cue the parental reprimand: What am I going to do with you?!?! I wonder if Jesus uses your middle name when He's fed up with you, like your parents did.
"Gaining an open heaven"
submitted by frequent contributor Jennifer B.
...because I am tired of losing the close ones.
"Become another dopeless hope fiend!"
Sadly, the dopeless part becomes impossible as soon as this sign is involved.
Besides, I entered a rehab clinic for my hope addiction a while ago.... (You may finish this joke with just about anything and it will be funny.)
"A large heart can be filled with very little."
They are not unlike many Christians' heads in this way.
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Check out frequent contributor and humor-blogs.com guru Diesel tonight at 7 PM Pacific Time on the internet radio show Pop-Load! Bonus points if anyone calls in with any Crummy Church Sign comments or questions.
Keep 'em coming.
In case of rapture, feed humor-blogs.com
Wait, I though all dogs go to heaven?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the shout-out, Joel! And I apologize to anyone who actually suffered through the show.
ReplyDeleteStill, my large heart is full.
uh. I meant "there" not "their". Thought I better correct it before Miss Kitty gets here!
ReplyDeleteDonald's Church of God - Hundreds and Hundreds Saved.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm with MileHighPixie - aren't their not one, but two movies that expound on that theological truth?
spookyrach, i'm thinking it's:
ReplyDeleteDonald's Church of God, Dozens Saved! (check out our low prices, and you'll save, too).
just a thought.
too funny, as usual, Joel! (that Emily has a mighty great eye for the funny "crummy" church signs, by the way... she's a keeper!) neva xox
At least you caught your boo-boo, Spooky. Most church signs get put up without any self-editing.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the laughs, Joel & contributors. I'm in the middle of giving a literature final exam and REALLY needed a giggle. My poor students think I'm giggling at their papers, though. :-P
A large heart can be filled with very little?
ReplyDeleteIs this an excuse to neglect our church members and then accuse them of having a small heart if they complain?
Church's should employ a "sign pastor"... it's reachin the world baby!
ReplyDeleteI think you should go in late at night and change the spelling of the sign. "In case of rapture, feed pastor's wife's pussy."
ReplyDelete