submitted by new contributor Lisa McSpaddenWell ever since I hit the tanning bed, I have more of an "orangey" tint, but thanks for asking.
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submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Duane B., VADoing a double-take to re-read what this stupid sign said doesn't count.
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submitted by frequent contributor Duane B., VAIt's also true that "What a moth calls the end, God calls a light", but I guess that's not quite as inspirational.
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submitted by frequent contributor Duane B., VAAnd if you're low on physical gas, we're serving beans at our next potluck dinner!
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submitted by frequent contributor Duane B., VA
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submitted by frequent contributor Duane B., VADon't let the fact that you're driving a snow plow discourage you.
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submitted by frequent contributor Duane B., VA
submitted AND reviwed by frequent contributor Duane B., VA
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submitted by frequent contributor Duane B., VADuane also sent in the other side of this sign, which said,
"Look around and be distressed. Look inside and..."
I just wanted to give you a version of what people only driving in one direction would see. Why do church signs assume people travel both directions on a road? Or are we supposed to learn how to read in our rear-view mirrors?
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submitted AND reviwed by frequent contributor Duane B., VAHopefully love is clean and disease free.
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submitted by frequent contributor Duane B., VA
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submitted by frequent contributor Duane B., VA40 days only. After that, we're back to aimlessly going through life.
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submitted by frequent contributor Duane B., VA
Today's sermon by Paul Harvey.
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submitted and asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Duane B., VA
I'd be much more comfortable with His return if He didn't insist on wearing those blue tights.
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submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Duane B., VA
...and this time, He'll be running for governor of California.
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submitted by frequent contributor Duane B., VA
submitted by frequent contributor Duane B., VA
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submitted by frequent contributor Duane B., VAToday's sermon by Paul Harvey.
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submitted and asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Duane B., VAI'd be much more comfortable with His return if He didn't insist on wearing those blue tights.
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submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Duane B., VA...and this time, He'll be running for governor of California.
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submitted by frequent contributor Duane B., VAFunny enough, I'm 90% sure that this is NOT my first submission from a Tattoo Parlor. Anybody else remember that? Anyone want to search the archives for it? Yeah, me neither.
I guess tattoo artists were never known for their grammar skills. ("You're").
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submitted by frequent contributor Duane B., VASo we're not supposed to be searching for the Lord, but for the Angel of the Lord ("Lo, the Angel of the Lord....")
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"Blessed is he who is not offended by Jesus."
submitted AND reviewed by Don A., CA
That's all He asks?
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"Don't judge a church by its pillars."
submitted by new contributor Indie Davis, TN
I tried not to, but I just can't help it when they're painted like barbershop poles.
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I tried not to, but I just can't help it when they're painted like barbershop poles.
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"Bow before God and His rainbow will surround you"
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Emily Bezaire, TN
The benediction every Sunday at the Church of the Pipe Dream goes:
'Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with string
These are a few of my favourite things...'
The benediction every Sunday at the Church of the Pipe Dream goes:
'Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with string
These are a few of my favourite things...'
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Duane...step away from the camera. You're risking your job and family with all of these crummy church sign submissions. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.
(Seriously..thanks. If you think these are a lot of submissions, you should have seen how many were in the email that I DIDN"T use!)
Blessed is he who is not offended by humor-blogs.com
Baahahaahaaaaa!! I didn't even get "redey" til your comment! The only thing that makes these not-so-painful is your hilarious commentary.
ReplyDeleteWow, with the kind of volume you've got here, you could start a CostCo.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I think you misinterpreted the first one. The Pastor of that Church is Rev. Donald Redey. He's constantly late, so they started to worry he was going to miss the 2nd coming.
"Redey": is that supposed to mean "covered in the blood"?
ReplyDelete"Instant replay": yet another message the Lord failed to mention in Scripture!
The Mt Ararat sign: gotta love the exclamation point in the first line instead of a question mark! Unless they mean, "Boy! Are you ever LOW on Spiritual gas!"
Then again, the fact that "spirit" in both Greek and Hebrew can also mean "wind" makes your review (and the phrase "Spiritual gas") that much funnier!
"Keep on plowing": and think about planting at some point, too. That usually helps with a good harvest.
"Love Life...": yep, another verse from the Gospel according to Norman Vincent Peale.
"Heaven's most wanted": Yup, just wait for the angels to drag you in or gun you down!
The "rainbow" sign is a reference to Rev 4, I think, but I don't have a clue what that's supposed to mean in this life.
Wow - great idea for a blog! Very original! I particularly liked the "Your on heavens most wanted list".
ReplyDeleteKeep em' coming!
Thank the little baby Jesus, watching his little baby Einstein educational videos, that this blog exists!
Even though we might have to schedule an intervention for Duane (and probably for Les, too), I am SO thankful for the plethora of awful church signs. These are some of the best/worst ever.
ReplyDelete"Forty Days of purpose" Right next to a Day care sign.....Gotta love it.
ReplyDeleteTRY GETTING pregnant for 40 days..then sign up those brats for summer school!!