Our Bible is a recursive loop.

submitted/post title by frequent contributor BRWombat
I prefer to keep things out of my end, if at all possible. Especially beginnings.
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submitted by frequent contributor BRWombat
Unfortunately, it is to be followed by Miserable May.
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submitted by frequent contributor Jennie Sowers
Except on the West Coast, where He will be appearing on tape delay. And don't forget to turn in next month for Jesus Live II!!
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submitted by new contributor Melanie W.
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"The Prince of darkness grim, we tremble not for him."
submitted by new contributor Linda Potsma
Their church sign is a bulwark constantly failing.
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"The road to the Kingdom of God is always under construction."
submitted by frequent contributor Christine
If that's the case, then Jesus' last words should have been: "It is behind schedule".
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"Is what you worship, worth it?"
submitted by frequent contributor Sandi Y.
Commas, are hard.
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I have a lot of crumminess stored up....my erratic posting schedule recently (sorry...) has given me quite a backlog. Check back this week for more!!
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How much can YOU bare?!?

originally posted by Bethany on Unnecessary Quotation Marks
Sometimes nothing I write can be funnier than the sign itself. This is one of those times.
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submitted by frequent contributor Rev. Wes Kenney
All right, who took Mother Goose off of her Zoloft?!?
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submitted by new contributor Bonnie Morris
In honest pursuit of Jesus and a delicious breakfast!!
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And, finally, our first sign in a foreign language!

submitted by frequent contributors Ryan and Nancy Devries, Chennai, India
Translated:

"Jesus rose from the dead just like he said

come and see the place where they laid him"

Can't say I disagree with the sentiment at all....however, I must admit that I am thrilled to death at the thought of a steady diet of crummy signs in another language! (Ryan assures me that the Tamil letters are interchangeable).

Thanks, Ryan and Nancy!
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"God's love: Tested and proven."
submitted AND reviewed by new contributor Dan Bryant
So proven there's no need for faith anymore!
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"Who Can You Really Trust? Find out Easter Sunday!"
submitted/asst. reviewed by new contributor Sarah Richards
"Ok, everyone, now fall back into the arms of the person behind you..."
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2 Crummy.

submitted by new contributors Chris Bridges
OMG! We rly do. 2 true. CU l8r.
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submitted by frequent contributors Ryan and Nancy DeVries, Chennai, India
Isn't that a slogan for a bra company??
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"Women in the pulpit. Join us."
submitted by new contributor Eric P.
Hey ladies...how YOU doin'? Come here often?? Y'know...those vestments would look good on the floor next to...


Oh....not like that? My bad.

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"Authentic. Sundays at 11:00."
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Tara, OH
Completely ingenuous the rest of the time.
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The toom is empty!

submitted/originally posted by Nikki at Red Pen Inc.
Thankfully, he "ressurected" to forgive spelling mistakes, right?!?
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submitted by frequent contributor Rev. Wes Kenney
Poor Job. On top of everything else, he couldn't spell either.
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"Salvation served daily. No reservations needed."
submitted/asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Les DuLunch
Too late. I already have reservations about this church.
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"Here I come, ready or not! -God"
submitted/asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Les DuLunch
Olli Olli Omnipotent Free!
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"Park your keester here this Easter."
submitted by frequent contributor Jennifer B.
I wonder if they also tell you to "Get your butt here this Christm-ass"
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Thanks for all the submissions lately. I have, however, decided that I'm not going to ask for submissions any more when my supply starts to dwindle. There are so many new readers to this blog, and I'm very happy that everyone wants to get involved. It's just that when I ask for submissions, I get a deluge of signs that I've already reviewed (sometimes more than once). I don't expect everyone to scour the archives for every single sign, so I'll just take them as they come and use the new ones. It might mean a non-daily posting schedule from now on, but I'm OK with that. If you need your crummy fix daily, find the archives...they had me chuckling this weekend, I had forgotten about a lot of them!

Anyhow, thanks so much to everyone who contributes. You guys make this blog run. I really, really appreciate it. If you're a noob and haven't seen your sign reviewed yet, keep trying. Please don't take it personally :)
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bleah.

I'll have a new post tomorrow (Tuesday). Sorry for the delay.

I need submissions, also. If you're holding on to them, now would be a great time to send them along.

Shouldn't He know?

submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor BRWombat
So much for Omnipresence.
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submitted/asst. reviewed by frequent contributor BRWombat
Come celeb-ate the Esu--ection!
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submitted by frequent contributor Lincoln J
"Some thought that we could come up with a non-crummy sign..."

insert sign text here

"...turns out those people were right"
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"Sin is the leading cause of death."
submitted by new contributor Bryany D.
We should hold a fundraiser of some sort...
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"After the darkest night, perhaps the brightest dawn"
submitted AND reviewed by new contributor Catherine C.
Because nothing says hope like uncertainty!
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Coming soon to a gaming console near you:

submitted/post title by new contributor Jamison Smith
I wonder if there's a cheat code I can use instead.
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submitted by frequent contributor Lincoln J
Send in the clowns? Clowns in the send?

(This one has me completely stumped. Anybody?!?)
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"Time to think of your source of power."
submitted by frequent contributor Chris J
Says Chris: "Not too terribly funny until I saw one of these trucks a minute later:"

(PG&E = Pacific Gas & Electric)

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"The cross: God's way of turning a minus into a plus."
submitted by new contributor Jane F.
The noose: The old west's way of turning a zero into a one.
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Remember to check out this week's version of The Clay Pigeon humor magazine if you haven't already.


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Clay Pigeon, the Online Humor Magazine!

It's Monday, so that means the new issue of the online sensation, The Clay Pigeon humor magazine is out!

In this week's issue:

- A special CP news report: The children of Darfur find hope in Japan's attempts to fly paper airplanes in space.

- The CP interview: A brief chat with Ben Wallace's Subconscious Mind.

- The CP Op-Ed piece: A disgruntled ice cube speaks out.

- Hey, NYC: Shut. Your. Mouth.

- Ask the Pigeon: Harry's brother Larry's questionable invitation to a wedding. What is one to do?!?

Plus, a new Pigeon Hole that suggests new names for Carrot Top if he were beheaded, a new See Mike Draw, a new Crummy Church Sign of the week, and more: All in this week's edition of the Clay Pigeon!

More crumminess tomorrow. Stay tuned!

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Was that really only last Monday?!?

submitted by Chris Hobeck
Or as we know it, "Fulfilled".
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submitted by Chris Hobeck
I am much more comfortable with traditional arguing with Jesus.
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submitted by Chris Hobeck
All in favor, say....oh, never mind.
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"Mighty men of God Conference!"
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Bruce Bezaire
Topic: Humility
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"Bkfst with the Easter Bunny"
submitted by frequent contributor Bruce Bezaire
Bunny Bacon? Or perhaps just mixed up into an omelette...
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"Your Bible is the best alarm clock."
submitted by frequent contributor Bruce Bezaire
It comes with its own "snooze" function...





(See...I don't believe that. But it's too easy. Toooooo easy. If they set it on a tee for me, I'm gonna hit it out of the park.)
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