submitted by frequent contributor Rev. Wes Kenney. Sign from near Paris, TX.
(I included the text in the post title, since it's a little hard to read.)
If that's the case...I'll take heaven. That was easy!
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submitted by frequent contributor Rev. Wes Kenney. Sign from Paris, TX
Mo' scars, mo' heaven. Let the floggings begin.
By the way, God also looks you over to make sure you purchased little shards of the cross, shrouds of Jesus' garments, sand from the Via Dolorosa, and such. Hey, if we're going back to the dark ages, let's go all the way. No half-%$$ing it here.
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"I'm Jesus, and I approve this message."
submitted and asst. reviewed by Rev. Bill Beatty
Jesus approves of a message stating that....Jesus approves of a message? How's that for circular logic? Not to mention arrogance....maybe this church found my blog and is calling me out, Savior-style. ("We'll show that smart-aleck...he'll think Jesus is mad at him!! He couldn't possibly make fun of that!")
"Peace begins with a smile."
submitted by frequent contributor Cheryl Bezaire, TN
Oh yeah?
Keep 'em coming.
Oh, my. These ARE crummy. THe little kindergarten rhyme is the worst. Bleh.
ReplyDeleteI have several students who are now reading your blog, Joel. They saw the crumminess and have petitioned their respective pastors to let someone else take over that duty from now on. Perhaps you're leading by example: "Wow! I don't want my church to end up on Crummy Church Signs! Better talk to Rev. So-and-So on Sunday about that sign."
Best of all, they're truly thinking about the drivel that often passes for roadside theology. Praise the Lord, indeed.
The first one is what happens when you let cheerleaders compose church sign slogans.
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely gonna add it to the liturgy this Sunday!
JB,
ReplyDeleteRE: Scars
Well, I have now heard from the Lord. I am not going to apply to a PhD program to study theology. Instead, I will join Steven Baldwin's Christian-version of the X-Games.
"You've heard of Jesus freaks. I'm the first Jesus Psycho!"
OK, Stephen, please be quiet and go read some St. Athanasius.
Jason Kranzusch
Allen..
ReplyDeleteIt could be like a responsive reading:
LEADER: Heaven is sweet.
CONGREGATION: Hell is hot.
LEADER: You are going to one.
CONGREGATION: Ready or not.
Ooh! I like it! Do you think I could just tack it on to the traditional "The Lord be with you" "And also with you"?
ReplyDelete"I'm Jesus, and I approve this message."
ReplyDeleteThat's what you get when you have politically active evangelicals. Republicans think they speak for all conservatives, and some of us think we speak for Jesus.
That is one freaky smile...
ReplyDelete