submitted by frequent contributor Jennie Sowers, IN
And it's probably best that you die the same way.
WAIT...................no.
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"Christians are like pumpkins. God cleans you up and gives you a light and a smile."
spotted by Jeb Naylor, submitted by Kyle Evans, AL. Asst. reviewed also.
Note that God "cleans you up", rather than "cleans you out." It works better on BOTH sides of the stupid simile, yet they still can't get it right. By the way, God also takes your seeds, salts them, roasts them, eats them, then spits out your shells.
Our commenting friend Allen will like that last one...it goes with his profile picture. "God cleans you up and gives you a light and a smile and a huge alien brain".
Keep 'em coming.
But if it were "God cleans you out," we could have a really good slogan for a Christian health retreat/high colonic business.
ReplyDelete"And then he throws you out a week or so afterward because you're beginning to shrivel and stink. See, I told you you should've stayed connected with the Vine!"
ReplyDelete"God cleans you out" could also be an offertory message. Or a warning against gambling. "Don't play poker with God, because he'll clean you out."
And yes, the big glowing alien brain is definitely a gift from On High! LOL
I'm glad God's got a light for me, 'cuz I forgot my matches.
ReplyDeleteBa dum BUM!
This little light of mine,
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna let it shine....
Glowin inside a pumpkin? Sure!
I'm gonna let it shine....
let it shine let it shine let it shine