submitted by new contributor Complain AwayWhat if I'm in a wheelchair? Thanks for asking.
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submitted and asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Rev. Arnold HendrixHow does one become an official "Prophecy Expert"? Is it like baseball, where batting .300 will get you into the Hall of Fame? Or is it more like a field goal kicker where closer to 80% is expected?
Wouldn't it be better to be an expert in Scripture or theology or something? Then you could prophecy based on your expertise.
To me, "Prophecy Expert" sounds a lot like "Fortune Teller".
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"Have breakfast with God- Start your day off right!"
submitted AND reviewed by increasingly frequent contributor Chris
The kid in me likes the frosted side, but the adult likes the omnipotence!
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“Calvinism is heresy! It will be welcome here when pigs fly.”
submitted by frequent contributor Tracy Roach
...and when those pigs fly, it will be of their own free will!!
That sign killed me. Great & hilarious stuff. Thanks, Tracy!
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"Never look down on anyone unless you are giving them a helping hand up."
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Tara
Yes as long as you're giving the homeless man a sandwich, its okay to call him a lazy bum.
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Well, it's official. The post office hates me. Boxes with 70 envelopes filled with books all going different places tends to put them in a bad mood. I just hope they don't decide to go all....well....postal.
Anyhow, books are shipping out of here at alarming rates, and if you ordered one you should expect yours soon!
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Humor-blogs.com is heresy!
Keep 'em coming.
These are great.
ReplyDeleteOmnipotence=Bran...that a brave new world of theology, friend.
Anyhow, books are shipping out of here at alarming rates, and if you ordered one you should expect yours soon!
ReplyDeleteIf you ordered two or more, however, expect to receive them just before the free-will pigs take flight...
;-)
You know
ReplyDeleteSometimes a really good breakfast is a spiritual event.
The first shot of caffeine hits the bloodstream...
The day's work of the chicken & lifetime commitment of the pig come together righteous blend of tummy-filling deliciousness…
IC: Omnipotence keeps you regular, I suppose.
ReplyDeleteBro. Wes: The free will pigs charge less for shipping, so I'm actually using them to deliver the multiple orders.
Actually, they have mostly shipped too. Yours, in fact, left yesterday!
Mr. D: I have yet to find a food whose flavor is NOT enhanced by bacon. Including milkshakes.
the remarkable thing to me is that:
ReplyDelete1. someone must have paused a moment before putting up these signs and thought "hey, that's a good idea."
2. someone thought that the public in general would know what "Calvinism" involves and would even care.
I am going over to my church building and post one that says, "Arminianism is welcome here, if you're lucky. We'll see." :)
I also am going to start billing myself as a "post-prophesy expert." (that is, I am an expert on prophesies after they happen).
I like this site.
Thanks,Friendinme.
ReplyDeleteThat Arminianism sign idea is hilarious. I should have used something like that in my review. Nice job.
The pigs fly church is the same one that had "Not every hill is worth dying for." I was going to submit it but looks like Tracy beat me to it.
ReplyDeleteThis is a FANTASTIC site. Thanks for ushering some humor into an overly stuffy church culture! I'm a college pastor, and affirm that we all need to laugh a bit more at the stupid things we do and say.
ReplyDeleteAre there roving bands of renegade Calvinists out there that I don't know about?
ReplyDeleteAnd if so, how do I join one?
Diesel: I'll send you the details on the meeting place. And the password. See you there.
ReplyDeleteI have NEVER seen a church sign on Calvinism. That's a new wrinkle in my brain. [shaking head]
ReplyDeleteDid anyone tell Hobbes about Calvinism?
ReplyDelete