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submitted by frequent contributor Jennie S., IN
...but I want the deluxe version, complete with the action whip attachment and table-overturning power!!
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submitted by frequent contributor Jennie S., IN
Aww, man. Is He moving all of His stuff in, too?!?
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submitted by frequent contributor Miss Kitty, GA
Actually, I think I could go the rest of eternity and not attend another candlelight service. But that's just me.
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"It's OK to re-gift the gospel!"
submitted by new contributor Rev. Mike K., IN
But only if your man-hands can wrap it up properly.
“The greatest gift of all was born in a manger.”
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Nickie A., AL
Wow, Mary must’ve had really great aim.
“Center of Infinite Possibilities--Our souls are forever things.”
submitted by frequent contributor Nickie A., AL
Is one of those infinite possiblities not putting crap like this on their sign? I sincerely hope so.
“Heaven is a vibration, not a location. LK 17:21”
submitted by frequent contributor Nickie A., AL. Opposite side of above sign.
Luke 17:21?!? In what version? In "The New Testament (as translated from the original Dead Sea Scrolls by Beach Boy Brian Wilson)" ?!?!
"Xmas begins with Christ."
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Allen, IL
Er, no, it begins with an "x".
I should take a moment to thank Nickie for the title to this post also. Her idea supplanted my original title, "Ho, Ho, Ho-rrible Church Signs." Imagine how crummy your holiday would have been had you been subjected to that mess.
Merry Christmas to all. Despite all my carping (thanks, Diesel) about silly Christian signs on this site, please remember that there is absolutely nothing truer than the fact that God sent his Son to save sinners like me (and you) (and the people who put these signs up). While trying to avoid all of the cliches that I so despise (like sign #2 in this post), let me say this: accept God's gift if you haven't. The holiday is not worth celebrating without it.
Check out Gregory's run-down of things that are wrong with Christmas, if you haven't already.
God bless. See you next week.
Keep 'em coming.
“Heaven is a vibration, not a location. LK 17:21”
ReplyDeleteWell, this certainly has accomplished making me grab for a bible. The first one in reach is a Good News TEV. "No one will say 'Look, here it is!' or, 'There it is!'; because the Kingdom of God is within you."
So, I know that my redeemer lives because I can feel the vibration within me...no, wait, that's just gas.
Joel, I think we may have a candidate for the worst sign of '06.
"Xmas begins with Christ."
Well, actually that is supposed to be the Greek letter Chi. Xmas and the Greek word for Christ both start with Chi.
And Beezelbub and Burrito both start with B, which I guess is more evidence that those vibrations are not the Holy Spirit.
"Center of Infinite Possibilities--Our souls are forever things"
ReplyDeletePlease turn to page 157 in your pew copy of the Celestine Prophecy.
Wow, Joel, I think this is one of the crummiest sets I've ever seen.
ReplyDeleteThe X-Mas/Christmas connection is retarded, and I hate having to tell some fundies that, however, it is valid and not just to take Christ out of Christmas.
As for Luke 17:21-
nor will people say, 'Here it is,' or 'There it is,' because the kingdom of God is within you."
I find it really funny how horribly some churches can screw up their theology and exegesis.
The Kingdom of God is not a synonym for Heaven. It's a term used for Christ's literal Earthly reign, His physical kingdom. It's why John said, "The Kingdom of God is at hand."
But after the Jewish leaders officially rejected Christ, He withdrew the offer of His kingship and instead founed the church. That is why the Kingdom of God is in us, because Christ reigns in us.
Sorry for the long comment, but I'm irked.
Yeah, that "vibration" sign looked to me a like a pastor said to his assistant "Find a verse that we can rip out of context and use it to justify our new-agey pseudo-theology."
ReplyDeleteJust stopping by with joyful tidings. Merry Christmas, Joel and friends!
ReplyDelete"From Here to Eternity" Yeah, that's a great movie! Especially the rolling around making out on the beach part! What a cool church to recommend that as the present for everybody.
ReplyDeleteWhat, that's isn't what they meant?