submitted by Suzi H.
I think that's actually the premise of the next Indiana Jones movie...Indiana Jones and History's Hinge.
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submitted by new contributor David Fox
Any ole' God will do.
"Unity Christian" church my arse.
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"Jesus is always our example for everything"
submitted and reviewed by frequent contributor Kelly Quinn, TX
Jesus, our example of feminine virtue?
Jesus, our example of the criminal mindset?
Jesus, our example of spontaneous combustion?
Jesus, our example of what we can do to help our mom around the house?
I guess the 4 year-old Sunday School class has it right; He is always the right answer!
“Empty Cradle? Empty Christmas.”
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Nickie A., AL
Empty liquor bottles? Empty brains. There—at least those two statements are somewhat semi-related.
“We want you to want Jesus.”
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Nickie A., AL
Behold our clever use of a Cheap Trick song title!
Joel's note: If you are attempting to be culturally relevant, you probably ought not to pick song titles that have been out so long that other bands have covered them and had their own hits with them.
“Pray with an attitude of gratitude”
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Nickie A., AL
Quick! What rhymes with ‘rutabega’? I gotta make a church sign!
“Do you need a gratitude adjustment?”
submitted by frequent contributor Nickie A., AL. Opposite side of the above church sign.
No...but I can think of a few church signs that I wouldn't mind somebody adjusting.
Anyone care to take a stab at "adjusting" the above church sign anagram-style? Use the comments section below.
“God love you, and so do we.”
submitted and reviewed by frequent contributor Nickie A., AL
We love you long time!
“Don’t give until it hurts. Give until it feels good.”
submitted by frequent contributor Nickie A., AL
Then give some more, until it's back to a sort of neutral feeling.
SO MUCH restraint shown on my part (and Nickie's part) with that last sign. Feel free to show significantly less restraint in the comments section.
Keep 'em coming.
[loud laughter]
ReplyDeleteCan't...type.! Church signs...making me...laugh too hard!
[rolls in floor]
See. this is where my inability to take anything seriously comes into play, and I just keep hearing "OH GOD, NAIL ME HARDER!" in response to that, with some guitar with too much wah playing in the background.
ReplyDeleteChurch signs should NOT make you think of pr0n.
I can't take credit for making this, but how about this anagram?
ReplyDelete'Do you need a gratitude adjustment'
anagrams to
'Sedate jaunty, good-natured tedium.'
You can generate anagrams here:
http://www.anagramgenius.com/server.php?source_text=Do+you+need+a+gratitude+adjustment&emphasis=1&gender=2&vulgar=0&seen=true
Jesus is their example for everything?
ReplyDeleteEven that church sign?
That might be blasphemy.
Even if they had got the grammar right, wasn't "God loves you and so do we" Jim & Tammy Fay Baker's tagline?
ReplyDeleteJoel, you are getting a lot of submissions these days, aren't you? And good ones, too. Your comment on that last one made me bust up.
ReplyDeleteOh, one more thing - If you don't love God, go @*&$# yourself.
Diesel:
ReplyDeleteWhen (not if) I get a picture of that sign submitted, I am done with this.
It will happen. It's only a matter of time. That is my signal that it's time to stop.