submitted AND reviewed by Rev. Arnold Hendrix, Atmore, AL
I believe the reference is, "All who call on the name of the Lord, will be save." That's found in an entirely new book in the Bible. There has always been Revelations. Now to offset unauthorized "pluralism" that is used by so many, another new book: Paul's letter to the Roman. (Joel's note: I wonder which Roman Paul was writing to?)
Rev. Hendrix says that once again, both sides were identical. Also, his church now offers to lend some "D"'s with the original offer of "S"'s.
Send in more church sign here.
AAAAAAUUUUGH!!!!!
ReplyDeleteMy students do this same ^#&%@&@$!! thing! Now they're somewhere up in north Alabama making church signs after they didn't pass my English 101 course! ^%#&@$!!!!!
[writhing in agony on the floor]
Okay, since Pleasant Hill Full Gospel Baptist Church insists on bad signs we should critique the rest of the sign. First, what do they mean by "Full Gospel"? Is there a half gospel out there somewhere? What is their gospel full of? Does it ever get so full that it spills? If so, who cleans it up? Does it stain?
ReplyDeleteI note that at the bottom of the sign just below the pastor's name "F.D. Banks" (guess he wouldn't let them spell it out due to his concerns they wouldn't get it right) is the phrase "The Vision Shall Come to Pass". Not to be a pain but what 'Vision' are they talking about? Is it the Vision from the comic books (can't remember if its Marvel or DC)? Was it the pastor's vision, kinda of like Jim Jones' vision, the Branch Davidian vision or Heaven's Gates' vision? When will this vision come to pass? Should I hold my breath waiting, should I stop everything and wait at their church . . . but Paul said we should keep working and living since we don't know the day of Christ's coming . . . so now I'm confused. One thing is for sure, until they explain it to me, I am absolutely NOT going to drink the coolade at the church social!
Peeved in D.C.
BWAA HAHAHA!
ReplyDeleteGood points, peeved.
I actually Googled this church's name to see if they had a website. I wanted to start a flame campaign (in Christian love) to tell them how ridiculous their refusal to put S's and D's on words was an insult to the intelligence not only of all the good people of Alabama, but to everyone else too. Alas, no website (I know, big surprise).
ReplyDeleteAs we'd say in the south, just IGNUNT!
P.S. Why isn't the pastor's name (or should I say "the pastor name") F.D. BANK?????
Excuse the poor editing job on that last comment. My righteous indignation took over.
ReplyDeleteI just noticed that the map already has a link. Ignore that question.
ReplyDeleteGenerally, "full gospel" churches are pentecostal, as in the ultra-megachurches in S. Korea, for example. This corresponds with the cryptic motto: The Vision Shall Come to Pass, probably a reference to signs and miraculous works that the Spirit-filled church will do.
ReplyDeleteThis brings me to a different point: Can we start a "map" or chart that categorizes crummy signs by denomination or church organization? That way we can see patterns among churches that will augment the geographical patterns recorded on the official map. By the way, is this map updated regularly? And can we get a link to it on the sidebar?
The only churches I know the denominations for are the ones that I see personally, or the ones that have pictures sent to me. The other ones, people don't bother to mention the denomination (b/c I haven't asked for it, likely).
ReplyDeleteI say without hesitation that the biggest offenders here in Tennessee are Church of Christ churches.