Monday, February 5, 2007

"Poor is the church that values programs over people."

submitted AND reviewed by Suzi H., NC

Only because programs can't tithe.



Joel's Note: Odd is the church sign that places its adjectives before its verbs. Today's church sign taken from Yoda 3:16.

"Join us Sunday for church. Bible in hand, prayer on heart."
...and if you don't have a Bible: Too bad, you can't come in.

"Don't rest untill you rest in Christ."
submitted and asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Kelly Quinn, TX
No rest for the...holy?

(sic) on the spelling, by the way.





"God holds your future in His hands"
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Adam W.
If He holds the future in His hands, and He holds the world in His hands, does that mean that my future is the whole world?





"God's life is better than yours."
submitted AND reviewed by Jennifer B.
So...there!



Joel's note: I think it might have something to do with Him being immortal, omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and all that jazz. Tends to push someone over the top in terms of the Quality of Life index.

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submitted AND asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Rev. Arnold Hendrix, AL

...when we can just do it ourselves!!

Why not just post, "How can you expect us to be in touch with the needs of our community and the realities of this world when we aren't even in touch with what month we're in?" It's February 5: Change your &^%&^% sign.

Welcome back, Rev. Hendrix.

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Frequent contributor Rev. Wes Kenney sent in this link of some funny church signs. Some are obviously staged, which is why I won't review any of them. That doesn't take away the fact that some of them are hilarious.

Keep 'em coming.

posted on humor-blogs.com

6 comments:

  1. That "don't rest" one does sorta ring true with Hebrews 4. However, if this is intended for non-Christians, is it a sort of threat, like "Run yourself ragged until you find Jesus"?

    "Bible in hand..." Is that their way of saying that they don't have pew Bibles--and practice silent prayer only?

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  2. Perhaps they're not referring to the taking of the actual letters "Christ" out of Christmas, but the spirit of the holiday itself.

    If not, at least I agree. Of all the things in the world to worry about, the spelling of the holiday certainly shouldn't qualify.

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  3. X teaches us not to worry. X does not teach us to worry mas.

    (note: This post may contain references to Greek letters, Spanish words and obtrusive puns.)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Blessed is the church that is poor in people, for it shall be rich in programs.

    ReplyDelete
  5. that second sign reminds me of something we once saw in South Florida, outside a lovely Catholic church we considered "trying out":

    OUR DOORS ARE OPEN TO EVERYONE, UNLESS YOU'RE NOT CATHOLIC.

    okay, that wasn't the exact wording, but trust me, it comes close. we, however, did not (come close), because we're not Catholic, and well, we didn't care for the folks inside, who were. (sorry if that offends anyone. no wait, i'm not.) xox neva

    ReplyDelete
  6. Is there room for critical analysis
    of the pious posturings of today?

    We have a humorous view on our
    Open Forum comment section, See numero 50 in 'Here's Your War' post.

    No tithe, please. reb

    www,lazyonebenn.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete