Dionne Warwick just rolled over in her grave.

submitted by frequent contributor Les DuLunch, GA
They also have "Thirsty Thursdays", where draft beer is just $1.00

Also, take a close look at the picture. I swear the guy is throwing rock 'n roll devil horns in the air. "The Prophet's House where God Reigns and Wicked Guitar Solos are Wailed"
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"Upward soccer"? That sounds hard.
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"Heaven can't wait, Jesus needs you now!"
submitted by new contributor Sam Johannek
Look, just tell Him I will take any color tile in my mansion, and I wouldn't mind the maple cabinets. Thanks.
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"Honk if you love peace and quiet"
submitted by Tim C.
The church secretary, whose office window faces the road, just loves this sign.
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"Love life and life will love you"
submitted and asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Jamie
Nice sentiment! Alternatively, there's this completely opposite sentiment that Jesus Himself espoused.
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"God doesn’t have problems. He has plans."
submitted by frequent contributor Beau S.
But....you're not in them. Sorry!
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"God will guide you through the rapids of change."
submitted and asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Suzi H., NC
Come to think of it, some of those white-water guides do look an awful lot like Jesus.

WOOOHOOO! Big drop ahead, dudes!!
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Humor-blogs.com doesn't have problems. It has plans.

Keep 'em coming.