submitted by frequent contributor Miss Kitty, GAUnfortunately, you have limited minutes.
The cell phone related signs....never....stop...coming.
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submitted by new contributor Brian D.This sign (when using proper English) is a frequently contributed sign. It "don't" really improve much with the crappy grammar, does it?
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"Drowning the voices. VBS 2007."
submitted by frequent contributor Jennifer B.
This year's VBS is sponsored by Jack Daniels and the American Psychological Association.
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"God wants Spiritual Fruit, not Religious Nuts"
submitted by Christopher W., NY
Amazing how the message of this sign would change if I could only add the letter "s" to one little word.....
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"Jesus there is something about that name."
submitted by frequent contributor Joy C., NC
Yes...it's almost as if I've heard it somewhere before...
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Okay, I'm out of town for a couple of days (seeing The Police is St. Louis...hooray!), so here are a couple of preemptive links:
I think tomorrow (Tuesday) I have another guest post forthcoming at Central Snark (maybe my best Crummy Letter yet....)
Crummy Church Signs was recently reviewed by the crack staff at humor-blogs. It looks like my score will be pretty decent, nothing earth shattering, but the review should be posted in the next couple of days.
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Drowning the voices: Humor-blogs.com 2007
I'm all for speaking to the people in their own language...but there's something really ignorant-sounding about using the wrong form of the verb in a church sign. "Stop, drop, & roll don't work in hell" reminds me of what our ignorant old babysitter Mrs. Frye used to tell my sister and me when we'd sing along with Duran Duran on the radio--really, she insisted, Jesus hated us because we liked pop music.
ReplyDeleteIgnorant, illogical crap don't work with me, lady.
Maybe it's supposed to read "Stop drop and roll. Don't work in hell." And they want you to know; if you don't follow proper fire safety then your a tool of the devil.
ReplyDeleteand drowning the voices creeps me out, but not as much as last year's VBS "silencing the lambs."
and Thirdly God likes religious nuts just as much as spiritual fruit because he knows that nuts are full of protein and you need protein to build muscle and you need a good balance of protein and carbohydrates for proper nutrition.
God's all in to healthy living.
Jesus..there's something about that name..is he my gardener? no.
I think I've read it somewhere..Harry Potter?? no. hmm
Wha..Son of God?..OHHH..THAT Jesus. yeah, I know HIM
oh, btw Joel. You're going to see the Police in St. Louis??
ReplyDeleteYou su..diddely..uck Flanders!
I'm very jealous. I am sure they will RAWK!
Maybe it's supposed to read "Stop drop and roll. Don't work in hell."
ReplyDeleteThat's actually how I read that sign the first 3 times, which was really confusing. It wasn't until I read the comment that I got it. Imagine the confused motorists who only got to read it once.
"No roaming fee": Does this mean that you have access to God as long as you don't stray? Surely they aren't being that clever!
ReplyDelete"And now abideth Stop, Drop, and Roll--these three, but the greatest of these is Roll--and they don't work in Hell." It actually works grammatically when the phrase is not considered as one singular entity.
Are you sure it wasn't "Drowning the Vices"?
aren't there medications for helping to "drown" out the voices? reminds me of a Lily Tomlin quote:
ReplyDeleteWhy is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
heh. funny funny post, Joel. hey! know what else is funny? that's right, YOUR POST ON THE SNARK!
is it your 'best'? could be, it's pretty damn hilarious! i'm guessing our readers will agree! and yes, it appears you did get a well-deserved and excellent review (or, at least score, since the actual review isn't up yet) from Humor Blogs. did we expect anything less? we most certainly did not. congratulations! : ) xox