Christine's Crummy Vacation

Frequent Contributor Christine recently took a trip from VA to FL and back, and unloaded a slew of church signs on us. This entire post is dedicated to Christine's Vacation of Crumminess:

"Birthdays are good – the more you have the longer you live."
...and the longer you stay away from that "heaven" place.
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"He who has no fire in himself cannot warm others."

And he isn't nearly as much fun at parties.
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"Sunday: How *not* to get to Heaven."
Do we need help?
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"Trees don’t produce fruit for themselves."
For real? Has science screwed this one up too?
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"Start the fire: Wednesday, Thursday, Friday."
Put it out: Saturday, Sunday, Monday.
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"Welcome truckers, bikers. Altar open daily"
Car drivers: Altar closed.
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" 'I got robbed at Calvary Christian Center.' -Satan"
I robbed Satan at Calvary Christian Center.' -Some chump who is for sure lying.
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"Sometimes the cross we bear isn’t ours."
Well, congratu-freakin'-lations.

Maybe at church, our focus should be one the guy who bore our cross for us. Just a thought.
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Thanks, Christine! I hope your vacation wasn't marred by the crumminess of these signs. If the rest of you think she should have spent more time vacationing and less time writing down crummy church signs...well, I only used about half of the ones she submitted!


For those keeping score at home, Christine helped with the reviews on signs #3 and #5. In fact, #5 was all hers.

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I got robbed at humor-blogs.com - Satan


Keep 'em coming: NOTE TO ALL CONTRIBUTORS: I am eventually closing down my Yahoo mail account, to focus my email attention on the vastly superior Gmail. The new address will be reflected in all future "Keep 'em coming-s", as it is reflected in the two previous ones in this paragraph and the sidebar to the left. No biggie if you can't remember for a while, but I will eventually shut down the Yahoo account completely.