submitted by new contributor Steve Sensenig, NC
The gospel writers got it wrong. Those weren't drops of blood Jesus was sweating. They were drops of Fruit Punch flavored God-ade. It was in Him!
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"Come Celebate Mother's Day With Us"
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Ironic Catholic. Seen here of Flickr.
Reminds me of the old joke about a monk transcribing, as they have for centuries, an extremely ancient manuscript on monasticism. He suddenly burst into furious tears. When asked what was wrong, he said "the word is CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE!"
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"God is like Tide. He gets out the stains others leave behind."
submitted by new contributor Kendra L.
Also, he comes and goes like the Tide, too.
Wait...
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"Exposure to the sun may prevent burning."
submitted by frequent contributor Jennifer B.
Look...if you're going to use a stupid play on words, at least choose the correct homophone to make your point.
Exposure to this sign may prevent intelligence.
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Humor-blogs.com. Is it in you?
Keep 'em coming. (Frequent contributors: Please note the new email for contributions)
If Gator-ade was developed to help dehydrated Gators football players, then was God-Ade developed to help The overly-sweaty Almighty? And if it rehydrates God, just imagine what it'll do for you!
ReplyDelete"Celebate(Celibate?) Mothers"? Is that possible? Would this be dedicated to the Virgin Mary and many women who have taken the vows?
"Exposure to the sun": maybe they were thinking of Malachi 4:2, about "the glorious sun of righteousness"? I can only wish...
"comes and goes like the tide"? kinky.
ReplyDeletewhat can i say... this was hilarious. oh, and so, by the way, is your POST ON THE SNARK ABOUT CIVIL ENGINEERS.
just sayin'...it's damn funny. and now i shall return to laughing at "celebrate/celebate" and "sun/son exposure". HAHAHAHAHA! ; )
veri: OHKYEE. is that someone from Oklahoma! Oklahoma! Oklahoma!??
That first sign is my new winner for worst sign of all time.
ReplyDeleteSadly, my internal winner list gets updated a lot.
But does God leave me smelling like a mountain breeze?
ReplyDelete