submitted by new contributors John and Shannon JordanThen call 411 so this church will get a clue.
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submitted by frequent contributors Ryan and Nancy DeVries, Chennai, IndiaIs "reguesting" sort of like "regifting"? I can think of some previous house guests that I would have liked to have reguested.
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submitted by frequent contributor Alli ThompsonIt's the adults in the church you need to worry about...
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"If your oxen falls into a ditch each Sunday, sell him."
submitted by frequent contriutor Jennifer B.
If you're still using an ox, the ditch is probably the least of your problems.
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"Set your eyes on Jesus...and then let them go."
submitted by new contributor Dan Coulter
Apparently He doesn't appreciate being ogled.
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I've got a ton to get through, including a couple of large batches of signs from Alli and Lauren. Stay tuned all week.
Also stay tuned to The Clay Pigeon all week...
Also, Happy Inappropriate Card Day!!
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Call 911... humor-blogs.com is on fire.
Keep 'em coming.
As I drove out to the country around Christmas you were the only thing I could think about.....
ReplyDeleteSee, I had spotted an awesome church sign the week before but it was at night and my cell phone camera wouldn't pick up the marquee because of the lighting. By the time I got up there the next week the lady was out changing the sign.
It had read thusly during the previous week:
CHRISTMAS DRAMA IN THE CHAPEL
7:00 P.M.
I had so many hopes and dreams for the blog post I can spin out of that and then the charitable side of me thought of you and how you could make it ten times funnier.
Oh well.
I'm trying to make up for my statement yesterday at Diesel's regarding how much I hate you.
ReplyDeleteApparently our brains are fused together as one when selecting the perfect greeting for Inappropriate Card Day.....
For the love of Pete, I don't even know what the last two signs were going for. Let your eyes go? What, they're going to fly out of your sockets and cling to Jesus?
ReplyDeletePlease tell me that the sign with the oxen slogan came from an Amish community. That is pathetic!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite sign today, was the kids in court. I agree with your response. We had a youth minister who fervently preached against premarital sex, messing around and even kissing...yet he went to jail a few years later for diddling some of the teens. Apparently sex was ok, as long as it was with him. What a piece of work!
What if you've traded your ox in on an ass?
ReplyDelete...And if your "oxen" is a singular "him", use the money you get from selling to buy a new dictionary.
ReplyDeleteIs it a crime to torture a metaphor? If so, somebody should definitely report the last sign.
...and if not, can we petition to make it one?
ReplyDeleteIf the CSI House of Prayer sign wasn't in India, it would reach a whole new level of non-sequitur.
ReplyDeleteRe: "This church is on fire" sign...
ReplyDeleteMan, that's not a very effective way to alert people about a fire.