Like the Jackson 5?

submitted by frequent contributor Miss Kitty, GA
Who else but the J5 might be responsible for a "simple but difficult" R&B? Why this church is interested in it, I have no idea. Perhaps they are going through the "ABC"'s of salvation. HAR!
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submitted by Mike Mueller. Sign from Middletown, RI
Dan Brown's salary: $88 million.
Tom Hanks' salary: $29 million.
With curses like those, who needs blessings?

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submitted by Josh Santangelo, Seattle, WA
...and let the cross be your chop sticks.

This helps explain why many signs sound like they came from a fortune cookie.
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"Jesus burst from the grave and exploded our hearts."
submitted AND reviewed by Drew Coombs, sign from Cleveland, TN
(NOTE: This space is reserved for Drew's review. It is completely offensive and unprintable. It is also, however, the funniest review I have ever had submitted, and therefore I cannot think of anything even remotely better. Suffice it to say it included Jesus, zombies, and Samuel L. Jackson's favorite curse word.)

"Practice Son control, not gun control."
submitted by Rev. MaryAnn McKibben Dana, TX
This is the one that might very nearly make me lose it, should I see it in person, even after lo these many 400-odd crummy church signs. Take away my Canadian, handgun-hating leanings, and this is still the worst of the worst.

Would anyone care to propose a way to practice Son control? "Put a safety on that Jesus, kids, or He could go off at any moment. Wouldn't want that."

"Satan: You are the weakest link. Goodbye!"
submitted by Erik Wannstrom. Sign in Bloomington, IN
Not a terrible sign, except for the fact that Erik saw it in 2006.

So, a piece of advice to all you bloggers. Get your site mentioned on Metafilter, b/c I got an absolute deluge of submissions following someone (muy thanks, konolia, whoever you may be!) mentioning my site on there. Not only submissions, but a ton of feedback also. A good half of the feedback was negative, but it's traffic, and traffic is always important when you run a not-for-profit website........ ;)

Keep 'em coming.