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Lately I've been pondering a change of direction in my life, so I've been asking for a sign to provide some guidance. Any kind of sign.
That's when I got an email from Joel. With lots of signs. Lots of crummy signs.
It was clear what I needed to to. But before I changed my email address, I decided to snarkilate those signs:
submitted by Duane B., VA
You mean the diffusion of confusion?
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submitted by Duane B., VA
...you worthless sack of #$%&@.
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"A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle"
But the safe money is still on hiding under a bushel.
"Atheists are beyond belief"This sign is meant to give those of you on the edge a little push.
"God gives and forgives. Man gets and forgets."
submitted by frequent contributor Jennifer Bezaire, TN
Other than not specifying what God gives, whom he gives it to, whom he forgives, what he forgives them for, why He forgives them, what man gets, what he forgets, and why I should care, this is actually a pretty good sign.
"Need a new life? God accepts trade-ins."
submitted by Rev. Randall H., FL
Just don't expect full Bluebook value.
Well, I feel better. Joel, if you need to contact me in the future, my new email address is probertson@700club.com.
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A big thanks to Diesel, and be sure to make Mattress Police a regular stop on your blog visits.
Look for a new guest contributor in February, and look for some more crumminess tomorrow, as I already have some stored up...
As always, keep 'em coming.
Have you seen the "Big Buttered Jesus" video on YouTube?
ReplyDeletehttp://stupidchurchsigns.blogspot.com/2007/01/i-cant-believe-its-not-jesus.html
Bring back Joel!
ReplyDeleteDiesel, you carried the torch well on this batch of signs. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteThese were especially hideous. And TWO bad ones on opposite sides of the same church sign? Egads!
(Applause)
ReplyDeleteFound my way here via Mattress Police. Good post; and I rather like the blog. Someone on my forums at Wolfe's Musings seems to like it a lot too.
ReplyDelete-wolfe