submitted AND reviewed by Amy J., MS
Exactly! That's why I follow Radioactive Jesus!
"Jesus built us a bridge with two boards and three nails."
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor David Jacks, TX
MacGyver of Nazareth.
"If you're going to curse, use your own name."
submitted by frequent contributor Rev. Wes Kenney, OK.
Okay...
"Joel off!"
"Shove it up yer Joel!"
"Eat Joel and Die"
"Joel Dammit!"
It really doesn't have the same effect, does it?
Future signs at this church:
"If you're going to be envious, envy your own stuff"
"If you're going to lie, lie to yourself"
"If you're going to be slothful, use your own Lay-Z-Boy."
"If you're going to lust, use.....
Nah.
"Where is God? Where is He not?"
submitted by Sandi Y., TN
a)Heaven
b) Hell
What do I win?
NOTE: Simplified and incomplete theology, I know, but c'mon: Aren't most passers-by going to write off that sign as easily as that?
"You can't control the color of your skin."
submitted by Sandi Y., TN
I suppose this was some misguided "tribute" to MLK day, but boy is this sign terrible.
Why not just put up "Sure everybody wants to be white, but some people can't help it, so give them a break."
Horrifying.
"Cars aren't the only thing recalled by their maker."
Yes, little Billy...your father died because there was faulty wiring in his ignition, and God couldn't let him go on living that way....that'll be $439.76.
"God created a warning system...a conscience."
submitted by frequent contributor Jennifer Bezaire, TN
And I'm pretty much at Threat Level Orange (Elevated) the whole time.
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If you recently sent a sign and it wasn't used in this post, be patient please.....there's been a lot to cover recently!! I need to spread the wealth!!
Keep 'em coming.
"You can't control the color of your skin."
ReplyDeleteI prefer to look at this sign as a form of positive encouragement: While I may not be able to control the color of my skin, at least I can control my sexual orientation.
These were hilarious. Sometimes it seems as if all the really awful ones come in at the same time, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteThe MacGyver snark really got me. :-)
Could we apply the "use your own name" directive to the singing of patriotic songs?
ReplyDeleteWes bless America, land that I love...
Joel keep our land glorious and free...
It might work...
When I was a Parole agent in the inner city...I used to talk to my AA (the Race not the drinkers) offenders, "I'm white, Middle class, and I can't Change that, I can however Chose NOT to commit felonies!!"
ReplyDelete