submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Rev. Wes Kenney, OK
I don’t think that’s allowed, except in the last round...
Joel's note: I am going to try and write a praise song with that title. I'll let you know how it goes.
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submitted AND reviewed by Suzi H.
So what exactly was Jesus doing at Cana? Making fun of the bridesmaids' dresses?
Joel's note: I'm think that's somewhere in Proverbs, but I'm pretty sure some context is in order to really understand it.
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submitted AND reviewed by Suzi H.
...and the man decieved by weak drink isn't wise either. Plus, he's pissed off that he spent a bunch of money on watered-down booze.
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"Trade in your pieces for God's peace."
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Allen from Allen's Brain
Yes, and trade in your "Oh great's for God's grace!
And trade in your bombs for the Balm of Gilead!
And trade in your home phones for homophones!
And trade in your bombs for the Balm of Gilead!
And trade in your home phones for homophones!
"Be a Linus in a Lucy world."
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Kelly Quinn, TX
The Gospel according to St. Charles the Schultz.
Is this telling us to carry around a security blanket the rest of our lives and scream "I'm not your sweet baboo!"?
Is this telling us to carry around a security blanket the rest of our lives and scream "I'm not your sweet baboo!"?
Joel's note: I bet I know what song they played for the offertory!
Diesel's Review from the comments section (best review ever): I'll stick to being a Calvin in a Hobbes world.
"Where are you going when you're not going to church"
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Les DuLunch, GA
Why? What have you heard?
"Eternal life is never temporary."
seen here by new contributor Nathan Coleson
As opposed to all of those other temporary eternal things.
"Superman Returns, So Does Jesus"
submitted AND reviewed by new contributor Marty E., TN
I wonder if Superman could lift a rock that God created that even He couldn't lift?
Joel's Note: I wonder who Bizarro Jesus would be?
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Pretty easy day for me. Copy/Paste a bunch of times. Nice work, everybody.
2007 looks to be even crummier than 2006, in the way of church signs. These are wonderfully awful!
ReplyDeleteThat first one is a sermon title about Rahab, I hope. Why not precede it with "Today's Sermon:"?
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering if the wine signs are 2 sides of the same sign, since they paraphrase parts of the same text from Prov 20:1.
Yes, they are both from the same sign...
ReplyDeleteAs a recovering catholic student (its like alcoholism - you may never drink again, but you're always afflicted), I'm not up on the old testament. (I blame Ft. McDevitt) so I didn't realize that these were bible quotes.
HOWEVER - this church has a propensity for quoting the most bizarre and offensive OT sayings - including some lovely feel goods from Leviticus.
ITs amazing my car does not plow down said sign.
Why the rash of alcohol/sex-related signs all of a sudden? Does it have anything to do with post-New Year's Party regrets?
ReplyDeleteI'm going to stick with being a Calvin in a Hobbes world.
ReplyDelete(That's really funny if you know anything about the actual Calvin and Hobbes. I mean, really funny.)
It's so funny, it's going on the main page.
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff, Diesel.
So...are they suggesting that we only leave the house to go to church? Because my the food in my fridge is getting kind of sparse, and I doubt they want their parishioners to starve to death.
ReplyDeleteCan I be an Abbot in a Costello world?
How about a Larry in a Curly and Moe world?
Okay, I've had this idea for a long time. I started my own "Stupid Church Signs" blog today and someone introduces me to your blog. My thunder has been stolen. Oh well, I promise not to steal from you! I have added your link to the SCS blog. Nice work here.
ReplyDeletestupidchurchsigns.blogspot.com
joel, you'll always be my #1 dumb-a church signs provider. *with a twinkle in my eye*
ReplyDelete*(blushing)* Thanks, Niles.
ReplyDeleteWelcome Peter. I will say this: With my 400+ church signs reviewed, what are the odds that on your first post you would cover one that I haven't?
Nicely done.
thanks...please feel free to use it...you get a lot of traffic and your humor is well refined.
ReplyDeleteMy all-time favorite "Stupid Church Sign" is from a little Methodist Church in Kennesaw. I will forever regret not getting a pic. It simply said, "You think you have it bad!"
That was it! This would fall into the WTF category!
Bizarro Jesus = Pat Robertson
ReplyDelete