submitted AND asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Rev. Arnold HendrixNOOOOOOO! And now that I'm outside it's too late!
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submitted by frequent contributor Rev. Arnold HendrixShoot. My KJV is from like the 1980's, so I guess I can't attend church here.
And as for the second word on the top picture from this church....do members have to sign a waiver or something?!?
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"Hey Satan, the fat lady is about to sing!"
submitted by frequent contributor Ironic Catholic. Seen here.
Who knew that Satan was interested in watching the opening act of the VMA's?
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"Let freedom ring: Remember the scars and stripes."
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Nickie A.
...and that Jesus suffered amber waves of pain.
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"Come ascend the hill of the Lord with us."
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Nickie A.
...to fetch a pail of water.
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"Jesus is a Shocker!"
submitted and asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Nickie A.
Background Note: Nickie saw this in Wichita, KS, home of the Wichita State Shockers. Here's what the University means by "Shockers". I DARE YOU to go to Wikipedia and look up what the rest of the uncivilized world means by "Shocker". Unless you're under the age of 18 and/or have any decent bone left in your body, in which case DON'T LOOK IT UP AT ALL, PLEASE, JUST TRUST ME ON THIS, IT'S COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY INAPPROPRIATE.
The point is that this sign is either stupid (if it's referring to a college mascot), or the most profane accidental double entendre in the history of church signs (defeating even the Master's Hand sign from long ago. Hard to believe, I know.)
Sure, they meant it as a college mascot...but what do you think all the college students will be thinking?!?
Oh well...I guess one positive is that we haven't seen signs like this outside The University of Chicago. Or UC-Santa Cruz. Or UC-Irvine.
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VOTE FOR ME, DARN IT!! I don't mind losing to the one about punching Keanu Reeves in the face, but please don't let me lose to the Hokey Pokey...
Believe it or not, I have TONS more crumminess for tomorrow. What a great, crummy week around here!
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Come ascend humor-blogs.com with us.
Keep 'em coming
I did vote and it was for you. *Sigh... Mrs. Diesel hates me. Enjoying the crumminess. :o)
ReplyDeleteTo add to your list of in appropriate mascots:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.evergreen.edu/athletics/geoduck.htm
No, no! The KJV-1611 is an equation that gets you the password. KJV in Roman Numerals is, um, something, minus 1611 is, ah, another number, then you can attend the service!
ReplyDeleteC-L: She doesn't hate you, just your reviews. Remember, it's anonymous. Thanks for your vote!
ReplyDeleteSandy, that's awesome. I didn't know that at all.
I attended college in Jackson, MS and their nickname (WAY back in the day) used to be the Clansmen. That was because of their scottish heritage, but they had to change their nickname for obvious reasons (now called the Blazers).
Frogster: Math is of the devil, everyone knows that.
Premillennial
ReplyDeleteNow Thats a word!
But, shouldn't they have had to close in 1999?
By the way,
my word verification is
zagsm
Is it warm in here?
No, Mr. D., it means they have 92 years left. Wrong millenium.
ReplyDeleteJoel: I think I just scared five lives out of my cats, I laughed sp suddenly & loudly at these awful signs. The crumminess is top-notch--if there could ever be such a thing.
ReplyDeleteMy cousin Mary went to school in Michigan at Harper Creek High School. Their teams are called...the Beavers. Really.
The KJV-1611 signs remind me of the Emo Philips routine where he meets a guy who is about to jump off a bridge. Ok, I'm not going to explain it. I'll try to find a video.
ReplyDeleteDiesel, "...So I said, 'Die, Heretic!"
ReplyDeleteUm, the 1611? Really? Complete with the kooky spelling inherent to the original edition?
The top sign is a paraphrase of a line from a hymn: "Ere you left your room this morning, did you think to pray?..."
Nickie A, "amber waves of pain" set me to fits of laughter! Thanks!
"Ascend the hill of the Lord" is a Biblical phrase, and has almost certainly become a metaphor in worshipspeak for--well--worship. Either that, or they're planning a congregational trip to Jerusalem.
MK: Yeah, I almost put a link to Oregon State with the other schools' links.
ReplyDeleteDiesel: Link?
Allen: Nickie's "amber waves" gave me the same reaction.
As did your review in the post directly above this one.
for some reason the pictures aren't loading up this morning -- but "amber waves of pain" completely cracked me up. (as opposed to the "partial" cracking up i experience reading other stuff, i suppose...)
ReplyDeletei voted for you, too (don't tell Theresa). that said, i think we all know how my opinion rates these days... ; )
i am in love with this website.
ReplyDeleteespecially after reading about the shocker and britney spears.
i think you did it again, joel.
Thanks, Emily!
ReplyDelete...about that U of Chicago sign, making fun of its mascot name, "The Maroons" -- I had a pronouncian-challenged students a while back who thought m-o-r-o-n was pronounced 'maroon.' I'm just sayin' ... is that hilarious and fitting or what?
ReplyDelete