submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Rev. Wes KenneyPresumably to make up for all the times they'll be cursed throughout the year?
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submitted by new contributor James Christerson...but doing wrong is sometimes so, so right.
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"Prayerless Pews make for Powerless Pulpits."
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Kelly Quinn
Putrid puns make for perturbed passers-by.
-------------------------------------------------------Putrid puns make for perturbed passers-by.
"You cannot out-give God."
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Beau Sorrell
But some of you aren't even trying! 10% , people!
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"As He died to make men holy, let us live to make men free."
submitted by frequent contributor Lauren J.
I know a lot of guys would prefer it if more women were free, too...
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"Love Happens. Sunday 8 & 10."
submitted by frequent contributor Lauren J.
Regret happens. Sunday 8:10 & 10:10.
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Tomorrow, I'll start posting the latest batch of signs from frequent contributor Duane Brown. I should probably finish by October sometime.
Humor-blogs.com happens. All the time.
Keep 'em coming.
OK, ye landlubbers know that second to last one be the Battle Hymn of the Republic, ay?
ReplyDeleteOt'wise, yer offerin's made me wan' to climb the mizzenmast and raise a cup o' grog. Arrr!
(Take like a pirate day, ye know)
Yeah, I didn't think the message was that bad on the sign (just confusing to people not familiar with the terminology), which is why I just made an immature joke.
ReplyDeleteIn my math classes today, we're using the variable "r" in honor of the special day.
Oops, I emailed the powerless pulpit sign from the wrong email address. Talkdoc is Kelly Quinn:-)
ReplyDeletehah! From frequent contributor to new contributor in one fell swoop. Such is the power I wield....
ReplyDeleteI'll go change it....thanks :)
joel. i heart you so much. how can I find out more about you? what do you teach? you should come to my church. our sign is blank because i'm terrified it will end up on your site.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Emily! i heart you hearting me so much.
ReplyDeleteI teach 7th graders Pre Algebra . What else do you need to know about me?
Good church sign ideas are TIMES for sunday services and (these next ones are awesome) ways the church is helping out in and around the community.
Darn, we missed the backpack blessing. Are they going to bless schoolbooks any time soon? Actually, the parents are more in need of blessing after all the money they shell out on those schoolbooks.
ReplyDeleteThank you for using "passers-by" instead of "passer-bys" Bad english is so so wrong.
ReplyDeletePeople it's mothers-in-law Brothers-in-law etc when you talk about two or more the emphasis is on the pronoun. Thanks Joel for letting me get that off my chest, now I'm gellin'.
Yeah, and it's "attorneys general," not "attorney generals."
ReplyDeleteThere. I feel better.
And another pet peeve of mine is the changing of lyrics just to make us feel better about singing them.
ReplyDeleteThe line quoted from "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" was written to be sung by soldiers going into battle with no expectation of surviving. It was originally "let us die to make men free," and it should still be sung that way by Christians today, as that is what we are called to do.
Okay, now I really do feel better...
;-)
But if we died, Wes, we wouldn't be able to spend enormous amounts of money on Joel Osteen books and such.
ReplyDeleteThe crumminess as of late has been EXCEPTIONAL. Man, have I *ever* needed the laughs. Thanks, Joel and all contributors.
ReplyDeleteRegret happens! That's my favorite.
ReplyDeleteand what is up with pirate day? I'm obviously a day behind but I've seen it mentioned on two other sites. I missed the boat, er, ship, on that one.
There is another Lutheran church in Michigan that blesses bikes and motorcycles. They must be doing the same thing.
ReplyDelete"Regret Happens," as do other less-polite things. Or so I'm told.
ReplyDeleteThe Blessing of the Backpacks should be followed by Intercession for the Spines.
Response to Jamie E
ReplyDeleteYour welcome. It's a pet peeve of mine, as well.