Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I'll take the high road, you take the low road, and I'll be in Heaven before you...


"All roads lead to God."
submitted by frequent contributor Rev. Wes Kenney
So Jesus lied?

I love that it's from a Missionary Baptist Church. What do their missionaries preach? "Thumbs up!" all around? "Keep up the good work, you child sacrificers! We'll meet you all on the other side!"

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"A prayer in time saves thine."
submitted by Dan C.
...ass?

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"Living Foregivness"
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor BRWombat
The first in a sermon series, to be followed by "Living Mrecy", "Living Graec", and "Living Lvoe".

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"Souls wanted: Dead or Alive!"
submitted/asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Mary E.
I'm a preacher. On a steel pulpit I ride....

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And finally, from the "Ask and You Shall Receive" Department. This sign was submitted without a picture a few days ago, and I mentioned that I wished a picture of the sign existed. Well, thanks to contributor Randy B., here it is:


Zounds.

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As a math teacher, I loved Lisa's post yesterday. If you're a math person, you need to check it out. Anyone who's ever struggled in any subject will find it amusing, too. I remember this being the exact material where I decided that I would teach no higher than a Pre-Cal course. Hilarious stuff.

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Click these, please:



Alltop Humor

N.I.T.

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Submit!

9 comments:

  1. I'd like to defend the Baptist sign: "All roads lead to God."

    First, this is manifestly biblical. All people will meet God at the judgment seat of Christ. It doesn't say, "all roads lead to salvation." It only says, "to God." This is clearly what the Bible teaches. We will all meet God face to face. As Phil. 2 says, every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. That alone would be enough to justify the sign, in my opinion, but there's more to be said.

    Second, in Eastern Orthodoxy, it is held that the fires of hell is the "all-consuming fire of God." Hell is not some place outside of heaven; it is rather what certain people experience in the presence of God.

    Third, as I and others have argued, there is a substantial argument for a Christian universalism which is not the same as pluralism (e.g., John Hick).

    So there are at least three ways in which the Baptist sign can and should be defended as biblical.

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  2. I'll take a stab at defending Joel's assessment of this sign as crummy.

    Of your three defenses of the sign as Biblical, I believe only one would fall within the realm of accepted orthodoxy (with a small "o"). Number 3 would be considered heresy by most conservative Christians.

    But I'll concede defense #1 at least has some merit to it. As you correctly stated, it is certainly Biblical to say that all will eventually face God in judgment.

    However, this sign doesn't say that. All it says is "all roads lead to God," not "all people will face God." On judgment day, God will say to those who have rejected Him, "Depart from me." Sort of hard to see how such an outcome is leading to God, wouldn't you say?

    At the very least, this sign is horribly ambiguous. At best, it's leading people away from Christ. And that's really crummy.

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  3. David proves my point for me. It took 3 long paragraphs for him to show how the sign could be useful.

    Ergo, it doesn't belong on a sign at all, but rather in paragraph form.

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  4. All roads lead to God? What if Rickey takes a detour through the land of Xenu? Will Rickey still get there?

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  5. Anonymous: Yes, the sign is horribly ambiguous. I would never put it on a sign. That said ...

    Joel: I wouldn't have a sign to begin with.

    In short, I agree with both of you.

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  6. The Bon Jovi sign's great. Next week's sermon: Livin' on a Prayer.

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  7. Regarding the Sweden sign, that’s actually a different church than the one I submitted last week. The one I spotted was in Bellevue, Washington. (It was on an LED sign.) Looks like the one pictured is in Maryland.

    The crumminess is contagious! Noooo!

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  8. "Living Foregivness" seems to imply forgiveness given prior to the act. I wonder if they use a magic 8 ball to determine who needs to be forgiven?

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  9. The Sweden sign not only has crummy content, but crummy grammar as well. The possessive "its" does NOT use an apostrophe!

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