"The Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but a mosquitoe is close."submitted/originally posted by Alice G.
Church signs are even closer.
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"April 1st: Happy Evolutionist Day."submitted/originally posted by Alice G.
Only recently did the church change the name of this holiday day from "Happy Earth is Round Day."
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"On Sunday will you be at church with Jesus or home alone?"submitted/asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Rev. Wes Kenney
...'cause if it's the latter, we're sending Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern to your house to scare you back to church.
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"When God measures a man, he puts the tape around the heart instead of the head."
Where does God put the tape when He measures a woman??
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I feel I should explain that second sign/review. But I shan't. Suffice it to say that I believe in Genesis, but I also think that church sign is ridiculous. A long time ago Diesel did a pretty funny job comparing and contrasting evolution and intelligent design in a couple posts. Check them out: (POST 1 // POST 2)
(but don't take them too seriously...).
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I'm posting this in absentia...hope it worked. I'm still in the southernmost part of the True North Strong and Free right now. Hope all is well with everyone. I'm looking forward to seeing some cranks on this post when I return Tuesday, which will be the next time I post on here.
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Click these, please:
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I don't intend to be home alone
ReplyDeletewink, wink, nudge, nudge
"Mosquitoe": I wondered what Dan Quayle was up to these days. Apparently, he's writing church signs, now.
ReplyDelete"Dr. Jones, be still, I just need to measure you for the Lord." - Mola Ram
ReplyDeleteI was wondering why people were suddenly taking an interest in my evolution posts from a million years ago (er, I mean five thousand years ago).
ReplyDeleteRe: Sign # 3
ReplyDeleteSo God is everywhere, but Jesus is only in church?!?
The "5,000 years old" bit humors me. Because which age are we going by? Ours or God's? Because isn't a day to God = 1,000 years? So, not taking account for leap years, that means God's Year = 365,000 of ours. and 5,000 of God's Years = 1,825,000,000 of ours...
ReplyDeleteIn that case, maybe the "evolutionists" aren't too far off...
On my blog "Ask Sister Mary Martha" I had to answer the question, "Did mosquitoes bite Jesus?"
ReplyDeleteI think it depends on which Jesus. The usual Jesus with reddish hair, white skin and a reddish beard looks like just the type of persons mosquitoes LOVE.