This is the Crumminess:

"These are the words"
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor BRWombat
That's right, Johnny. Those are the words. Now can you point to the numbers??

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"Still old fashion. Come and see."

submitted AND reviewed by new contributor Rev. Jim P.
Well, admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.

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"Looking for an old fashion Bible preaching church? You just found it."
submitted by new contributor Rev. Jim P.

Great! What's next on the scavenger hunt?!? Hurry!!


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"Avoid mixing the narrow mind and the wide mouth."
submitted by frequent contributor Ironic Catholic
So I shouldn't ever put a televangelist and a lake bass in the same room? I think I can manage that.

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"God remembers ISA 49:15 and forgets JER 31:34"
submitted by frequent contributor Allen's Brain
Pretty soon He'll barely be able to take care of Himself. Poor guy.

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So I've been receiving some fairly heavy traffic from an online Dutch (I think...) newspaper. If anyone can read Dutch (I think...), would you mind heading over there and see how the article is slanted? Please leave a comment.

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Make mine a double:

"Tent revival with Jack Daniels. May 4-7 6:30"
submitted by new contributor Philip R.
I'd like my Tent Revival shaken, not stirred.

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"We don't change the message, the message changes us."
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Poke
Because we are the message's baby.

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"Final warning. Terrible Times ahead & only Jesus can save us."
submitted by new contributor Chris S.

Seriously, this is our last warning before we open up a whole can of whoop-ass on this community.

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"We determine our eternal destiny"
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Beau S.
God used to, but ya know...layoffs.

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"Obtaining freedom is not difficult. Keeping freedom is not easy."
submitted by frequent contributor Barbara B.
Obtaining freedom is not really that difficult. The Revolutionary War was like a walk in the park.


Especially when George Washington was, like, 6'8" and weighed a &*%$ing ton.
(If you get that joke, sorry. If you don't, it's probably best).

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Get your captions in by tonight!

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New Oral Salvation!

"Open mouth. Insert Grace."
submitted AND reviewed by new contributor AmberSwan R.
I just hope you know where that grace has been.

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"Have faith in Christ. He put His faith in you."
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Scott G.
And Jesus, don't forget to wake us up before you go-go.

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"Isaiah 63: 7-9. A thin line between love and hate"
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor BRWombat
God is love. Just don't push Him over the line.

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"When your light breaks forth like dawn"
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor BRWombat

Sorry to single you out, Dawn, but would it kill you to use a little Clearasil?

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"We only fail when we quit"
submitted by new contributor Chris R.
"Enter in, thou good and faithful servant. At least you tried."

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"After death what's your address?"
submitted by frequent contributor Shauna H.
Well, I've always dreamed of retiring to some place warm....


Wait! No!

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Don't forget to get your comments in on this week's commentary contest. Commenting ends Thursday at midnight.

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Commentary Contest Round Three!

"Pray for the harvest but don't stop hoeing."
submitted by new contributor Grant J.

You all know the drill. Add your funniest comments by Thursday midnight. I'll post a poll next Monday and we'll all vote to determine a winner.

One advantage to these contests is that I have a LOT of material saved up. Stay tuned for a great week of crumminess ahead.

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The Second Commentary Contest Winner:

Congrats, Tara! Send me your email and I'll get a book out to you! Oh, and here's your banner:

Second place went to Poke:
"And for the love of God, cover up your melons, Shiela!"

Third place went to Eric P.:
"Crushed by the negative reviews, "Exodus: The Musical" closed later that week."

I'll post another contest on Monday. In the meantime, to make up for yesterday's absence, some more crumminess:
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"It is not the the length of life, but the depth of life. -R.W. Emerson"
submitted by frequent contributor Chris H.
Look, all I wanna know is this: Does size matter or not?!?

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"God is like Alka Seltzer. Try Him, you'll like Him."
submitted/originally posted by new contributor Alice
This sign gives me heartburn.
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"God is like Bounty. He is the quicker picker upper, can handle the tough jobs and He won't fall apart on you."
submitted/originally posted by new contributor Alice
And just when you need His help the most, you find out you're down to the last one?
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"Jesus is love?"
submitted by new contributor Judith G.
We're not sure and we'd like your opinion.

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"If you're interested in flood insurance, ask Noah"
submitted/asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Allen's Brain
(Note: Must love animals. And ignore that rainbow)

Note: Allen says this sign was seen in an area with significant flooding recently. It's nice to know that in times of disaster, the church is there to make light of the situation.

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"When God first saw you, it was love at first sight."
submitted AND reviewed by this week's winner Tara

I caught His eye in the freezer section at the Piggly Wiggly.

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Spit Is Finished

"Salavation is the miracle of a moment. Growth is the labor of a lifetime."
submitted by new contributor Sarah B.
Correct spelling is "the miracle of a moment" anymore. Sheesh.

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"The Big Bang Theory. Your kidding."
submitted by new contributor Matt S.
Those scientists and their crazy senses of humor! Is there a hidden camera around here somewhere?!?

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"It's never too late to be what you might have been."

submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Rev. Wes Kenney
...as long as you've got enough open road to get 'er up to 88 mph.

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"Weather? God reigns and His Son shines!"
submitted by frequent contributor Sammi H.
What does the first question mean? Do I have weather in my life? Yes, pretty much every day some sort of weather manifests itself outside my back door. Amazing, really.

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Get your votes in on the caption contest by tomorrow! And while you're at it, get your votes in on Diesel's caption contest. Yours truly has a caption in the running, and needs to catch up to Brad in overall wins. So far, it doesn't look too promising....

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Boo!

"What's around that corner?"
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor BRWombat
Today's guest preacher: Stephen King

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"Faith grows best when rooted in tests."

submitted by frequent contributor BRWombat
Uhhh...."False"??

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"Mother: God's angel of love"

submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor BRWombat
I knew it! I knew they weren't human!

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"Is Jesus your friend?"
submitted by frequent contributor Sandi Y.
...because you should have heard some of the things He was saying about you.

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Voting began yesterday...be sure to get your choice in by Thursday. I've seen Poke, Quilly, and Kadi asking for votes...but what about the rest of our candidates?

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