submitted/originally posted by Susannah P.Look, kid: He'd really like to come to your soccer game and all, but there's a universe that needs to be run...
-------------------------------------------------
submitted by MJOf course, God coming to you in a vision is always helpful...
-------------------------------------
submitted by MJSiign mee uup for soome of thaat!
-------------------------------------
submitted by MJHe can, however, be mostly a failure.
-------------------------------------
submitted by frequent contributor Rev. Arnold HendrixTurn the car around!! TURN THE CAR AROUND!!
-------------------------------------------------
"Laughter is God's sunshine"
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Tara
Snarking is God's little lightning bolt.
--------------------------------------------------
"God's grace is dripping like honey"
submitted by frequent contributor Tara
...though sometimes it might feel stuck, like ketchup.
---------------------------------------------------
Reader Scott B. has recently complained that his work has blocked pictures from any blogspot website. He asked that I post captions of each picture so he can "get" the snark afterwards. I have a couple questions:
1. Would this benefit anyone else?
2. Would doing this disrupt the "flow" of the joke? I don't want readers to have look for line after line to find the punchline. Would it be disruptive to put the text of the sign every time? Or not?
3. Does anyone know of any new employment for Scott? Because, really: Who wants to work somewhere they can't read CCS??
Please comment below...
----------------------------------------------------
I really need a new header. I took the old one down, I was never really happy with it. I also wouldn't mind changing the color scheme around to match a new header.
Is there anybody out there that wants to make me a new header? If you make one that I like, I'll send you a copy of my book. That's about all I can offer (well, that and some duplicate heroclix I have lying around, and maybe an old CD of my band. So, the book it is!!)
Here's what my header needs:
- 715 pixels (wide) by approximately 250 pixels tall, though it can be a bit taller if it needs to.
- CRUMMY CHURCH SIGNS as the largest text
- "Critical Analyses of Critically Bad Church Signs" as a subtitle
Here's what it could say, but doesn't have to:
- A humor-blogs.com affiliate
- 1 Corintians 4:14: "I am not writing this to shame you but to warn you.."
(OK, I'm writing this to do a little of both).
- Pictures of any of the crummiest signs from this site.
The church sign generator might be of some use as well.
If anyone plans to tackle this project and has any questions, please let me know. In the meantime, I'll keep playing around with ideas and I might accidentally stumble on something I like. I'm not holding my breath, though.
-------------------------------------------------------
Voting is almost over. Midnight tonight deadline. There's a new leader!! I'll post the winner tomorrow, along with some fresh (stale?) crumminess.
------------------------------------------------------
This post cross-posted on:
----------------------------------------------
One breath to death made me laugh aloud. That's a sign for the ages... if I weren't dying in 5 seconds....
ReplyDeleteI'm sending this post to a friend who may help you out with the header. Well, if I don't keel over in my next breath.
Today's signs are great.
ReplyDeleteI think having the words would be helpful as I often find the pictures hard to decipher.
What if you put the text in a alt attribute in the IMG tag? Would that help?
ReplyDeleteDaniel #2's idea is pretty good, but I admit that having the text of the sign might be nice even for people who can see the pictures. Some of the images are fuzzy and sometimes it's hard almost hard for me to quickly see the part of the sign we're looking at (since the meeting times, bible references, etc. don't usually matter)
ReplyDeleteIn that case, adding the text in both the alt and title (tooltip) attributes would be helpful. But it’s kind of inconvenient in Blogger, since you have to switch to the “Edit HTML” mode.
ReplyDeleteYou're not holding your breath, AND you might accidentally stumble on something?!? Boy are you taking chances with that whole One Breath to Death thing!
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't mind a quick review of the sign directly underneath. Or...Scott could always come take my boring job where I just blog all day. :o)
ReplyDeleteSign #7:
ReplyDeleteIs God trying to get the Led out?
"Oh, oh, child, way you shake that thing
Gonna make you burn, gonna make you sting.
Hey, hey, baby, when you walk that way
Watch your honey drip, cant keep away.
"
Oh that's nice...pile more shit on my plate, God. I already joined the PTA, have 7 kids, run one web business, care for a grieving grandma, head up the neighborhood watch, cook, clean, do 28 loads of laundry per week and now I'm supposed to cover you when you cannot make it to certain events. What are you doing that is keeping you so busy? Sheesh. Mothers are so underpaid!
ReplyDeleteKadi:
ReplyDeleteYou know you just said "shit" to God, right?
OK.
From,
Joel
The second Daniel's idea is fabulous.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes have a hard time reading the signs, because I have crap for vision, and the text of the signs would be great.
Adding captions would be helpful. I don't think it'd take away from the jokes at all--just bold the sign text like you do the ones without pictures. My vision is crap, and sometimes the pictures don't load.
ReplyDeleteJust my two cents.
--Sammi
Ummmm, Joel, (regarding Kadi) if that is bad then you dont want to hear the stuff I have said outloud to God in anger! LOL!!! In fact one night I said to my husband, "Do you really think God gives a damn?" (I was being a smarta** with my hubby!) You should have seen the look on my hubbys face!!!! Priceless. I apologized to God and hubby later....but still God knows I am human, especially if we are covering for God as moms!!!! (totally sarcastic)
ReplyDeleteKadi, you had my peeing in my pants from laughing soooo hard!! Thank you for that one! Being a mom that sign pisses me off!
Thanks again Joel for what you do here! I love reading your blog daily and now I am getting hooked on Diesels (now I will go to Hell) Just kidding!!!! Thanks again for the laughs and sometimes seriousness!
with my heart in His hands,
Shauna
World's largest collection of sign generators @ http://www.CustomSignGenerator.com :)
ReplyDeleteHey, that Mothers' Day signage was the first I ever submitted to CSS. I didn't have a photo, though. Sigh. I never thought another church would put that particularly crappy and heretical statement on a sign!
ReplyDelete